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day seven

I sat up from my bed. My head thumping, and my eyes blurry. Licking my dry, cracked lips, I pulled my feet off the bed. They place themselves next to each other, but still hadn't had any life to them.

I sighed, the back of my throat groggy, causing me to cough.

"Are you up, love?" my mother calls from outside my door. She doesn't wonder in like she used to.

The clock that glowed faintly on my nightstand read 13:56.

I couldn't answer, so I pushed myself off the bed on numb legs, and walked to the door. The door knob was solid ice against my fingertips, but the soft, sweet aroma of something baking urged me to walk through.

My mother stood upon a small stool, as she's shorter than me, trying to reach for the bag of sugar.

Stepping around her, I grab the bag as it tilts to fall, and hand it to her.

"You could've just asked for help, mother."

She shakes her head, and steps down.

"No, dear, you need your sleep. And I can do things by myself, I should learn to."

I lean against the corner in the kitchen, peering out the window that hovered just over the sink. The flower pots line the sill, all dying, but one is smashed. The cracked pieces scatter themselves in the basin.

I pick up a piece and hold it in her direction.

"What happened?"

She turns to look at my hand, "What dear?"

"Oh," she smiles weakly, "It's nothing, love."

"Mom. Are you breaking things again? I thought you stopped. I thought you were fine last week, why is it happening again?" I shove the piece into the bin, and scoop up the rest into my palms.

"I don't know. I lost it. It slipped out of my hand."

Throwing the shards into the bin, I regret throwing them away.

I look at the infant, limp flower in the basin; it's dad's flower he gave her.

"I'm sorry." she mumbles under her stuffy sniffs. 

"Mom, it's fine. I didn't know it was his one, that it just fell. I'll go buy another pot."

"No, Leah, I'll put it in a cup."

I'm already walking to the front door, but I look at her over my shoulder.

"Don't fight with me, mom, okay?"

I say playfully, and she gave me a tender smile.

___

The frosted air bites at my ears and my nose. I pull the hoodie up over my head to warm myself up, and I turn down into the street.

Things have been so different around the house. It's colder, less lively, as it would've been with him here.

Although parents die before kids, which is how it's 'supposed' to be, I just can't help but wishing every day that it hadn't been him, that he wasn't targeted for selfish, cold-blooded reasons.

I let my mind drift into a void, watching my breath turn to mist in front of me.

"Ee!" a faint, very distant voice calls out.

"Lee! Wait up, will you!" the distant voice became clearer as I could barely catch her calling.

Trystin came up behind me, throwing her arms over my shoulders to hug me around my neck. Her impact almost pushing me down; I stumble, but turn to face her.