Love Ain't

12. Tension

You say love's push and pull, well, you're both the push and the pull
And I'm hangin' on for dear life 'cause I'm scared to let you go
The good that's left in us, it still feels good enough
Set us on fire and I'll find a way to hold us up

Tension, JP Saxe

Kisses being planted on her shoulder woke Stefani up. "Good morning, LG. You have the day off filming today, right?" Christian asked.

"Mhmm," she replied sleepily. "That's why I'm still asleep."

"Well, wake up!" He pulled her covers back and she groaned at the unwanted intrusion. "I made you breakfast and I want to spend today with you before you jet off to New York."

She rolled her eyes before turning over to face him. Of course he made breakfast. Last night, Stefani had come home from filming to find him completely trashed and crashed halfway up the stairs. Unable to wake him, she had left him there and headed up to bed alone. Now, it was time for him to do damage control. She joined him in the kitchen where he had an omelette and coffee waiting for her. "Thanks Chris," she said glancing at the the stairs. "You were pretty fucked up last night. You ok?"

"Yea, just stressed. I needed to let loose and relax." She inquired about the cause of his stress and he replied with, "what if I go to New York with you? I'd love to see you film & meet some of your hometown friends."

"Yea, sure. But not like..."

"I won't get wasted, I promise. I'll take care of myself; you won't have to worry about me."

"I do worry about you sometimes," she admitted. "I know you loved the Super Bowl and the Grammy's and everything but every second of life with me isn't a red carpet. You know that, right?" He nods. "And you're good with that? Without the drinks?"

"I'm happy," he said, shooting her a smile and kissing her forehead. "Just got to get you down the isle..."

"What does that mean?" Her brows furrowed in confusion then raised in almost a sort of amusement as he continued.

"Just... you know, make it official. Make you my wife. Stefani Joanne Angelina Carino. Or Joanne Germanotta Carino. Or however you want to change it."

"I actually don't think I plan on changing my name."

"Oh," Christian replied flatly. There was a brief silence before he continued. "I was thinking we could maybe get married before you tour. Or maybe even in Europe while you tour."

"Chris, a tour is a lot. A wedding is a lot. I don't want to combine the two."

"Oh."

"I just want everything to be perfect." The forced nature of her smile was completely lost on him.

"You'll be there. It will be perfect." He cupped her chin and bent to kiss her. She leaned into him, longing for the natural feeling of the kisses she shared with another man.

• • •

'Well this isn't going to be awkward at all,' Stefani thought when she & Christian ran into Bradley and Irina walking into NBC Studios. She hugged them both, Irina barely returning the hug and Bradley lingering a little longer, holding her at his side as she peeked into the baby carrier. "Oh my goodness I've missed her! It's been almost three weeks and I feel like she's changed so much!" Stefani gushed. "Hi sweet angel."