I need you. |severus snape|

29: Wondering

"Come in."
She instructed, in a harsh tone.

Severus stepped nervously inside, hands folded behind his back. Ingrid didn't bother to look up, knowing she would cry if she did.

"Sit down if you must."
She told him, dipping her quill in the ink once more.

He sat down, she continued to ignore him. It was her way of not showing emotion, not in this odd time.

"It is certain, I need to make some things...clear."
He observed, Ingrid stiffly nodded.

He took a deep breath, a grave expression replacing his usually unemotional one.

"When....I was young...I met a woman, named Lily...Lily Evans."
Ingrid paused, recognizing the name of the familiar red head.

"We where the best of friends, I even considered her...till very recently, more than a friend."
He took large breaths between sentences, as if he was trying to push it all out. Before stopping completely.

"I-I made a very terrible mistake. Costing her friendship...I went down the wrong path, lost in my own resentment and hatred towards Potter. Her new....more than a friend."
He clutched the front of Ingrid's desk, Ingrid knew exactly what he was going to say next.

"I took it. I took the mark, I worshipped him. I lived for him, but secretly lived for her. She born a son, and he marked him as his equal."

Ingrid bit her lip, staring directly down at her parchment.

"I called to Albus for help, he allowed it. As long as I spied for him and the Order...the order of the Phoenix."

Ingrid held back a gasp, gritting her teeth. She was unsure of how to feel, or react...all she could do was listen.

"She eventually was killed, despite my efforts to warn Albus and the order. I blamed myself, and here I am to this day...living for and working for the order. Being someone else's servant. I do it all to preserve her memory, my lily..."

Ingrid looked up to see that he was slowly breaking down into tears, she longed to reach for his hand. But bright herself to wait, only for a short while more.

"And then-then I met you."

Ingrid looked down, folding her hands on her desk.

"I felt incapable of caring for anyone else, I felt terrible for leading you along on my little emotional play. But I found myself...slowly falling in love with.....you."

Ingrid's eyes widened, looking up to him once more.

"I'm not worthy, I never will be worthy..not while I have this Mark. And staring into your eyes makes it so much more painful."
He avoided eye contact, voice beginning to crack and become shaky. Ingrid felt tears well up in her eyes too, but decided not to cry about it..not while he was.

"I'm so sorry for wasting your time....hurting you...but I'm not worthy. I never will be-"
A small sob filled her ears, he embarrassingly placed his face in his hands.

And so she sat, watching him cry aimlessly on the chair in front of her desk. She sighed, standing up from her chair and approaching him.

She placed her arms around him, he flinched..obviously not expecting this reaction.

They sat in silence for a few moments, Ingrid just comforting him.

"This Mark you speak of does not define you. It matters where your heart lies."
He shook his head and placed his face in his hands, a sad smile crossing Ingrid's face as she continued to offer him her sympathy.

"How long have you been holding this in for."

"Far...far to long."
He responded, voice muffled in his hands.

She laughed quietly, lifting his face from his hands.

"Bloody hell, look at me."
She told him, demanding his glance.

He did so, his face still a tint pink from all of the crying. She wiped the remaining tears from his cheek.

"This Mark. It doesn't define you, you've chosen your path. And even if everyone else thinks your that terrible dungeon bat, just know...that there are people out there that do not think that."
She insisted, placing her hand on the side of his face..as he once did for her.

He nodded, regaining his usual posture. She smiled and patted his hand one last time, before going to stand up.

She felt a slight tug on her arm however, she turned around.

"I love you."
He said, a pained expression crossing his features.

Three words.....eight letters.

She was his.

Ingrid felt herself smile, a sudden feeling of sureness and happiness taking over her whole being. She leant down and kissed him.

As if nothing else was happening in the world.
Unfortunately for them. Something was.

-AN-
Thank you for reading :)
Things are getting kind of STEamY
I hope you enjoy this fanfiction as much as I'll enjoy writing it! This will be the only book, therefore it will be really long. This whole story takes place within the Goblet Of Fire, Order of the Pheonix, halfblood Prince, and deathly hallows! I'll be publishing whenever I finish one of those books/movies. oH dEaR