I wish
I heard giggling behind me. I looked up and the cashier was looking over my shoulder with a
smile on her face. I turned around and saw the two guys I'd seen earlier in the store, one on his
knees putting a ring on the other's hand. The look of utter joy on the ring recipient's face was so
honest and happy it tugged at my heart. I couldn't hear what they were saying, but the love they
were sharing was blasting from them.
"Here you go, have a nice day". I turned back to see the girl behind the counter handing me my
bag.
"Thanks." I grabbed the bag and made for the exit.
Outside, on the street, with the wind whipping at my face, I couldn't contain my sadness any
longer. A sob escaped me, and my eyes stung. From the wind, I told myself. Yeah, right.
A loving scene like that would never happen for me and Kevin. I hadn't heard from him since
that night, two months ago. If only I could take it back. If only I hadn't said it.
I started walking back home, my new T-shirt suddenly not so exciting anymore. At home, the
smell of roast chicken greeted me. At least supper would be good.
"Hi honey. Did you find something to wear?" my mom asked as I walked in the kitchen.
"Yeah. I found a T-shirt."
"Great! Show me" my mom said, turning around towards me. Her face fell. Mine must have
been saying something. "What's wrong, Chase?"
"Nothing. Just tired I guess," I said, more to the floor than to her. "Here it is." I pulled out the shirt
from the bag to show it to her. My mom's hand came down on the T-shirt, pulling it away. She
looked straight at me, the T-shirt forgotten.
"What happened, Chase? Tell me."
"I'm fine. Nothing happened. Really." She knew I was lying and she knew I knew it too. I sighed.
"I just miss Kevin, that's all."
My mom came around and hugged me. Her warmth made me want to cry all over again. I
patted her back and pulled away before I lost it. "You guys'll work it out, you'll see".
"Chicken smells good. How much time do I have?" I asked.
"Twenty minutes or so. Do you want to talk about it?"
"No. I'm fine. I'll be back in twenty." I went up to my room, leaving my bag and the T-shirt in the
kitchen, not caring anymore.
I wasn't sure I'd go to the dance. I thought I was better. Obviously, just one romantic scene with
guys obviously so into each other and not caring about the world seeing it was enough for me to
step back to two months ago, heartache included.
My phone buzzed. When r u picking me up?
Oh yeah. I was supposed to pick up Maxine. We had planned to go to the dance together,
supporting each other. I was gonna suck it up and face seeing Kevin and she was gonna suck it
up and face seeing Declin with his new girlfriend Mona. When we had talked about it, it seemed
