Losing Life's Grip

Losing Him..

I never thought that I'd have to live without him. We plan to get an apartment in New York City and I would write my book while he went to work as a lawyer. We plan to live our lives together, to grow old and drink iced tea on the porch. We planned everything around each other now. I'm alone without a plan for him.

Late in the fall of 2010, Mitchel Johnson, the love of my life, while walking along the road was hit by a car and killed by a drunk driver. I didn't find out about what had happened until two days later.

"Katherine.. I've been trying to get a hold of you," Mitchell's dad voice echoed through the phone speaker. "I'm sorry sir. I was at my dad's this weekend and I forgot my charger." I laughed a bit. That was the last time I was able to truly smile. I hear sniffles and crying in the background. "What's wrong?" It took a while for him to answer. He sighed, "Mitchell.." "What happened?" I was beginning to get more worried with each second that passed. What I heard next would change my life forever.

"Oh Kat.. Two days ago he was hit by a car." He paused as if he was thinking of what to say next, "he died on spot." I could believe it. It had to be a joke Mitchell was playing on me. "Did Mitch put you up to this?" That was when I heard his father, who never cried, sob, I knew it wasn't a sick joke, it was reality. My knee deceived me, I dropped to the wooden floor. My mascara mixed with my salty tears and streamed down my face. My prince, my angel, my everything was gone. I wished I was gone as well.

That day I thought about leaving this world to be with him but I was too weak. I wasn't strong enough. I never would be.

Days passeddiplomathat November. Thanksgiving came and went. School days were filled with condolences and people saying how great Mitchell was or how he'd be missed or how the football team would never be the same or my personal favorite, "oh my god. He was my best friend," all of which came from people I never met.

The football players won their championship game and made a slideshow about Mitch. These sweet things only lasted about month. Everyone seemed to be over the death. How could they forget him so easily? How could they act as if he wasn't alive?

They say that the mourning period should only be 1-3 months. How long is the mourning period of your future last?

When graduation rolled around, there was an empty seat in front of me with his photo on it. The school made a small slideshow of his life. Most photos I was in but I of course was cropped out because no one wants to remember the girlfriend.

"Katherine Lyon," all eyes were on me as I walked up and accepted my dipolma. I got the one thing he wanted. It was just a piece of paper but it meant so much to him yet he wasn't here to accept his. I graduated, I made it but he didn't. He didn't make. I wish I didn't make it.

I went to the graveyard after everything was finished. 'Mitchell Allen Johnson. September 12th, 1995-  October 23, 2010'

"They made another sappy slideshow. The cropped me out. Do you think that they are scarred to remember the girlfriend?" I laughed but no one was there to laugh with me. I never felt so alone.

"Maybe they're afraid of life not death. They're afraid of the life that is left after death."