Buying Rebel

11.

Henceforth Gabriel began to drop in on Castiel's house on an almost weekly basis, growing increasingly fond of Castiel's motley family. Dividing his time between Rome and the countryside seemed to make Gabriel more thoughtful, he joined Castiel in long walks and they were often seen walking together discussing the legacy of Rome, arguing intensely. On the occasions of Gabriel's stay, Sam always hovered around, with ready questions and flagged pages in his books keen to pick Gabriel's brain on governance and politics. To Castiel's shock, Gabriel would consider each question and give well thought through answers. He seemed almost a little scared of Sam, patiently elaborating or clarifying his points whenever Sam asked him to. All the information Sam gleaned he wrote down neatly into a small blank book. Occasionally, Sam would say something back that made Gabriel's eyes round with awe at his intelligence. Once or twice Dean narrowed his eyes at them but Sam would glare back and stare him down till Dean slunk away.

The long dreary winter passed quickly with fine company and Castiel found a renewed fondness for the long dark evenings snuggled up warmly with Dean in their bed. The year's harvest had been plentiful, with their cellars full of provisions the whole village was in a bright mood awaiting the winter solstice. Bursting food stalls notwithstanding, Dean invited Castiel on a scavenging trek deep into the mountains.

"There are medicinal plants that don't grow in my part of the world but I have heard can be found in warmer regions over winter. They need the volcanic soils and sheltering cliffs to spore and spread," Dean explained enthusiastically, gesturing to some sketches he had made of lewd looking fungi and gnarled roots. "See this one, Dead Man's Blood, stops blood flow from an open wound with a little sprinkle of power. And this, Dragon's Egg, cures an infection and cleanses the liver."

"So you need to go somewhere with warm soils? I know just the path for that." Castiel led Dean on a steep climb and though they were both fit and full of rigour it was still a couple of hours of mountain climbing.

Dean was fascinated by the changing landscape, talking breathlessly about what the changing soil colours signified for plant nutrients. It was only when Castiel pointed out the view that Dean went quiet. They were at the apex, they could see the village in the distance, the organic shape of the boundary of Castiel's household, everything they loved miniaturised. The perfectly arranged, now tiny, kitchen garden. Impala running with the white mare in the fields like cavorting toy horses. As it was a clear day, they could see all the way to the distant city of Rome and in the far far horizon a glimmer of the port.

"It is a beautiful world," Dean gasped. "How fortunate we are to live in it."

"On a fine day like this, I will be able to see your ship sail out of the harbour, if I bring my telescope," Castiel said. "I can imagine the isles afar where you will go and I will think of you every day."

"Cas," Dean's throat was suddenly closed, he swallowed past the lump painfully.

Castiel wrapped his arm around Dean's shoulder to give him comfort. "Have you learned enough and seen enough in your time here?"

Dean bowed his head, huge tears falling sudden, silent and hot onto the ground. He shook his head and sobbed "Gods damn it, Cas, it'll never be enough."

His face was ruddy when he looked at Castiel, his words mashed together with tears. "There are facts one can learn off by heart. There are skills to be learnt over time. There is art which with practice I could learn to perfect. But I will never, ever, learn enough of love. Just when I think I'll be satisfied with a taste, I gorge and drown and still cannot be appeased."