Those first words (Continued on other account, read last chapter)

Pt 11

A/N: Warnings: Suicidal thoughts and actions, mentions of PTSD, and mentions of non-con.  This chapter is pure angst and I'm very sorry. Fluff will happen soon!

I found my way to my guest bed room, which was surprising because I could barely see out of my blurry eyes. I flung open the liquor fridge under my TV set and grabbed a bottle of vodka.

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"You can help yourself to any of the liquor in the fridge", Pepper first said when he showed me my new room, "its under the TV set and it's free."

"Thank you", I smiled sheepishly, "but I don't drink, Ms. Potts."

"Please, call me Pepper. And everyone needs to drink once in a while. It's vital to our health." She laughed. 

"Is that a true scientific fact, Ms. Potts?"  I teased.

"I wouldn't have said it if it was untrue. And please stop calling me that." She gave me a cheeky smile and headed for the door.

"Pepper," I started. "Thank you, for letting me stay here."

"Of course, Y/N. Also, that whole speech I just gave you? That was all the words of the one and only Tony Stark."

I rolled my eyes, "I figured. I've heard he's quite the drinker." 

She chuckled, "That he is. I will have to introduce you to him and the rest of the team when they're back from their mission."  With a curt nod, and a small smile, she left.

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I stared at the vodka bottle and unscrewed the cap. Fuck it, I thought as I hastily brought it to my lips and took a swig. The liquor burned in my throat and I coughed. It felt like I was drinking liquid fire. I cautiously swallowed some more. Being lightweight, I started to feel a little tipsy before I even reached the halfway mark. My mind was a little foggy, but instead of stopping, I tipped the bottle upside down and downed the rest. But I just wanted to feel something, and the heated drink for sure made me feel. One fire gulp after the next. 

By the time the bottle was empty, I felt myself fall over, making a loud crash onto the wood floor. I heard frantic knocking on the door and faint waves of panic flowing through me. My head pounded but I suddenly felt extremely depressed. The emotions were extreme. Both the ones flowing through me and the ones flowing through my soulmates. Everything hurt. I heard yelling from outside my door. I looked at the window. My emotions took over. 

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3RD PERSON POV

Y/N headed towards the window. The knocking was getting louder. She looked out the window and to the ground. She gasped as she felt a memory take over her mind. She fell over clutching  her head and screaming. "GET OUT OF MY HEAD!"

Little girl, why are you alone? What is a pretty girl like you doing without any grownups? 

I'm trying to find my sister. 

Come with me, I'll help you find her.

Okay...

Mister? What are you doing?

No, stop!

Shut up, little girl.

Don't touch me!