Her Darkest Secret ✓ [ Completed ]

Śhot ~4

"That was my beautiful night with the beautiful blend of love &pain. I thought I would live happy& joyful life With my newly recognized love that's NEIL ".

but..but..I was wrong. How could a girl like me would get happiness in life who is not a virgin, who is a prostitute . How could an impure raped girl will get prince charming like Neil. Never!! I think I'm over expecting from my life as iknew I'm bad luck for everyone & I'm not having a good fate like others. I took my parents life. And now I couldn't effort to lose Neil. I don't want Neil hurt coz of me.
I'm a dirty girl who had sex with many unknown person's and he Doesn't deserve a girl who shared bed more times in a day. He deserves more alluring & kindhearted soul who would only give him happiness..as per me I can't give him that Coz I don't have anything left in my life. The precious thing which every girl preserves for her love,boyfriend, husband is been raped every day in my life then how could I give him the used one?
I started to think about that. Then I realized my love which just blossomed like a little flower is going to brutally die if I enter into his life.

After our intimate night, I woke up with new hope, that I would get some happiness. but when I opened my eye slits the only thing I heard is someone's beautiful "LUB-DUB " sounds. Iknow he is Neil I can sense him with his smell it self. He looked so cute & beautiful while sleeping imust say he is Sleeping Beauty ,nah! handsome! I chuckled.

But again the thought of impure disturbed my mind. He doesn't deserve this, he doesn't deserve me .sorry I don't worth him. Though I love him with my soul but I think it's only attraction from his side coz who will love filthy girl like me who is who*e.
Thinking about that thought I sobbed silently burying my head into his chest coz this is going to be last time that I'm going to sleep in his arms.

His embrace gave me assurance of of peaceful affection. I want his arms to wrap my entire life but it's not possible. After placing a smooth forehead kiss which would be my last kiss I woke away from him not disturbing his sleep .

I went to washroom & cried like eternity coz after some days he's not going to be in my life because Im going away from him. if I'm in front then he will surely do something for me. But if I leave his life then it would be happy .

Thinking all this imade my heart stone to act cold towards him. I want him to hate me so that I could go away from him ,To make him realize that I don't deserve his love. His care deserve beautiful, pure girl not like a girl who is s***t.

After consoling myself , I stepped out and acted as I don't care about his words but trust me when he said he is gonna realise me from this hell.my happiness doesn't have any boundaries all I want is to hug him ,kiss him but I couldn't, I couldn't do that it will show how his presence effects me .so I stood calm. I didn't dared to look into his eyes which showed alot of questions & pain. I even don't deserve to look into his face. Later he went again leaving me all alone in these four strong caged walls.

(flashback Pov ends)

Don't know whether I should be happy that I'm going out from this hell or to be sad that I'm going from Neils life. Coz he became habitual to me, within two days. But I don't want him to develop unnessary feelings on me .i don't him to love or care for me. I don't want his life to be mess coz of my entry because he will never get future .I don't want him to love a raped tainted girl then what will society thinks.

Ugh! why I'm crying now ?. Why my eyes are tearing up like this. I should be strong ,I couldn't fall a week.& now I have decided ,after tomorrow I'm going to leave his life forever.

Thinking all about I slept on bed with exhaustion .

***

After sometime I opened my eyes when I felt knock at doorstep . I walked towards door limping as my wound not yet recovered . I opened door only to take Saree for night. but they don't know that today Neil will not show up. I took that & wore so that they couldn't get doubt on me &neil.