It watched as many of Its kind as they went out, that initial fear fading as it realized no matter how much It feared or wanted more, It couldn't do a single thing about it. If It disappeared then It was going to disappear and that was that.
However, even with this new insight on it's own insignificance, the fear of the unknown still lingered slightly, never completely disappearing. Almost as if it had ingrained itself in It's mind.
As other ones started to disappear new ones came to take there places. Slowly, as more and more things came in to being out of Its brethren's ends, the emptiness started to feel a little less empty.
Although, even as the space fill began to up between It and the others, It was still alone. It had no way of communicating with them, if they even existed with the same type of consciousness It did, and they were still so horribly far away. It wasn't all so bad though. Now, at least, It had another way to entertain Its self. It could watch as the dust and bits of the unlucky ones that ceased to exist formed new things. It saw that there was more to see with the strange new shapes and hues. But that wasn't all. The new things brought with them a sense of hope. That maybe even if it couldn't do anything but think and eventually disappeared without being able to stop it, something else would come to exist that could.
Something else might be able to prove that it exists and finally get rid of the looming dread that has been haunting it since it found out time and existence wasn't always infinite. Maybe, just maybe, it could know what its like to not be alone.
But alas, time continued just as it had so many times before.
There were so many knew things to learn it almost didn't notice that any time had past.
Slowly but surely it watched as these new things intertwined in strange and delicate ways and continued creating. It watched as movement formed in things. A concept so incomprehensible to It at first It had no idea what was happening. It saw things go from one spot to another, It watched them move.
And as it watched It felt a strange emotion creep it's way up Its subconscious. Since all it could do was think, It spent a great deal of time deciphering Its emotions. So this new one should have been a delightful surprise, something new to occupy It. However the feel of this emotion was so similar to It's lurking fear of the unknown that this new emotion was not welcomed in Its thoughts. Despite this, It was once again reminded of its insignificance as the emotion continued to force it's way into Its mind not caring how much It didn't want to feel it.
This didn't change the fact that It was still a curious being none the less, so it took It's time analyzing this emotion. Trying to find what caused it to stir up inside It in the depth of its mind. It realized that It wanted to move. It wanted to change. It wanted to intertwine with all the other things in existence. It was jealous of all the new things that got what It so desperately wanted.
It let this new emotion in. Let it fester and eat away at It. It excepted this emotion even as it tainted Its thoughts with jealousy's grime. It wanted to know why. Why all these new things got what it had always wanted since the start of existence. It wanted to know. It wanted to understand why. It wondered what had decided that It would be conscious, that it would be forever trapped in the confinement of Its thoughts. Never to be able to escape. If there was anything else to escape to. If there was anyone else.
For It's entire existence It had been alone, It had no reason to believe that there was anything else with thoughts. It wondered why It had ever thought that there could be something else. Then It allowed Itself to think about one of the first thoughts It ever had. And one of the only things It tried not to think about. Why did it exist? How did it come to exist? Was it created in the same way these new things were, by the destruction of another, older thing? If so, then could this older thing think? Could it feel? Where did the older go? What created the older thing? Was it just an endless chain of creation and destruction? Or was It the only one?
As It thought and spiraled down an endless pit of unanswered questions, It lost sight of the jealousy that got It there in the first place. The simple emotion didn't seem to matter when compared to the purpose of existence
YOU ARE READING
Lonely Star
Short Story*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-* A star is a luminous ball of gas, mostly hydrogen and helium, held together by its own gravity. But what if it was more? What if a star had feelings? Had thoughts? What if a star had consciousness...
