Fragments

Clarity

Ah Si and Shancai stared at each other, Zhuang Jie's words ringing in their ears as the door closed loudly behind her. The air was thick with heavy tension and unresolved attraction. Ah Si's lips were burning with the ghost of their smouldering kiss as his cheeks heated astronomically. His sister had caught him making a move on Shancai and he was mortified. Not because he had been caught red handed with his hand almost in the cookie jar, but because his sister had just assumed he was forcing himself on Shancai. Did he really come across as so despicable? He liked to believe he acted with gentlemanly decorum, but perhaps he was wrong.... Was this how Shancai perceived him too? He was suddenly filled with anxiety as their eyes held, his heart thumping erratically in his ribcage as she looked at him with her small, trusting face. Surely if she saw him that way, she wouldn't be willing to sleep in his room with him... His face flamed at the implications of the word 'sleeping with' and he watched in fascination as the tiny girl's throat bobbed up and down nervously; was it possible she was just as attracted to him as he was to her? Was it even possible? Ah Si had never been so captivated by another human before; she was so astonishingly beautiful at the best of times, but right here, right now, secluded in his room and dressed in his clothes, he was finding her damn near irresistible. His oversized hoodie completely dwarfed her, making her look like a tiny doll he just wanted to admire. Call it masculine pride, but he felt entirely smug that she was dressed in his attire; after all, didn't girlfriends often steal their boyfriend's clothes? The Daoming heir still couldn't quite believe that Shancai was his girlfriend; he sometimes had to pinch himself to remind himself of his good fortune. He was still on edge due to their previous kiss, and her being here, so overwhelmingly close and in his bedroom, no less, was having a funny affect on his ability to think rationally; he couldn't help himself when he thoughtlessly blurted "Shancai... When can we take things further?"

He wanted to smack himself when she started, evidently shocked by his abrupt question. For a second, her face was clouded and unreadable and he feared that she would turn on him, guns blazing as she berated him for being a pervert. After all they had been through, the lengths he had taken to get her here with him, not just tonight, but over the course of their whole relationship, he didn't want his stupid mouth to be what finally tipped her over the edge. He had to learn to think before he spoke! Shancai's cheeks were scarlet as she fidgeted restlessly with the edge of his hoodie, her eyes fixated on the floor as she stuttered "five years!" His eager heart sank in disappointment at her words, a little crushed as she figuratively threw cold water over his libido; was she serious, five whole years? Was it selfish of him to feel so dejected about it? He loved her wholeheartedly, but he wasn't entirely convinced sometimes that she felt the same; he knew he shouldn't pressure her, that a girl had high expectations for her first time, but he couldn't help himself - he wanted her with a fierce passion, and it would be wonderful to know she felt the same. He felt uncharacteristically insecure when it came to Shancai; since when was Daoming Si such a neurotic mess? He needed to pull himself together - if he wasn't confident in himself, how could he possibly expect Shancai to feel at ease with him? Trust was key; he swallowed his own narcissism as he told her quietly "I'm willing to wait for you as long as it takes." He meant it too; his sincerity rang in every syllable, and Shancai smiled weakly as she rose to her feet, her eyes warm and wide as she ambled over to his sofa.

He knew the moment was lost when she plopped down gracelessly onto his sofa, swinging her legs aimlessly as she shot a winning, albeit slightly shaky grin at him, encouraging "hey, why don't we watch a movie like a normal couple for a change?" And just like that, where Ah Si had been feeling downcast, he was now delighted; how it filled him with warmth to her refer to them as a couple! He was saddened a little at her phrasing, as it hinted that she was tired of sneaking about behind his mother's back, but it was one of the rare times when she had actually verbally acknowledged that they were together; she might not realise it, but those small instances were worth more to him than the rarest of diamonds. Money he had an abundance of, but her love..... It was hard earned and utterly priceless. His chest was light as he jumped lightly over the back of the sofa to join her, showing off a little as Shancai giggled at his antics. How he loved to hear her laugh, she was often so serious and stressed that he often made it his mission to make her laugh on the rare occasions they were alone. It soothed his soul; her giggles only increased in volume as he playfully wrestled the remote from her, holding it high above her head as she practically clambered all over him to get it. Shancai was becoming increasingly free with him, more comfortable and relaxed in his presence and it made his heart sing. Her guffaws increased in volume, trilling like bells through the room, and he was forced to clap a hand over her mouth to stifle the sound. "Ssssh," he breathed, his breath stirring her hair as he leaned recklessly into her personal space; her scent flooded his nostrils, and he took a deep breath, committing her to memory as he murmured "you don't want the bodyguards to realise you are here, do you?"