Today i met death , again.
She was way too far but way too close once i took a deep breath waiting for the pain to spread through my arm , for the blood to run down free till it hits the ground , for the flames burning me from the inside to extend from my heart to the rest of my body.
Way too sweet but way too bitter as i felt the euphoria of accomplishment running through my veins to then feel the sorrow of failing something : the life i was given.
Too light but way too dark as my eyes shut slowly trying to find the peace i was promised , trying so hard to ignore that little voice that rang in my head like an alarm telling me it wasn't too late , that i could still make it , i just had to endure the pain a little bit more, i couldn't anymore.
Someone told me that waiting for the cup to overflow makes you overflow it yourself , with all the tears i poured i could have overflowed an ocean.
I was scared way too scared to show the real facade that always hid deep inside of me , i should have embraced my darkness maybe we wouldn't be here..
Out of all your lies " i love you" was my favorite , i tried , god only knows how hard i tried to believe you when i knew it was a mirage that will disappear as soon as i got way too close.
And it did, just like you did with all those beautiful promises you didn't bother to keep.
I drowned my pain in alcohol.
I drank , drank and drank 'till the bitter taste of the poison was all i
knew.
Useless became a first name as Failure became a last one after you left.
"Where did it go wrong ?"
"Why was i the only one who bled for the both of us ?"
Those questions haunted me as they were left unanswered , just like the hundred texts i sent.
"I'm sorry..."
Read at 3:04 a.m
