I'm Just Human

Chapter Nine

"I don't want your promises," Peter mumbles, scuffing his old sneakers on the ground again. His fingers twist into the hem of his Little Mermaid t-shirt. He's not a little kid anymore and Tony needs to stop pretending he is.

Tony grabs Peter's little hand, shame and guilt creeping up around him like a safety blanket. He's so used to the feelings; it doesn't even matter to him anymore. It should. It doesn't.

"I'm so sorry, Bambi. What can I do to make it up to you? Anything at all," Tony begs, looking up at Peter in desperation.

Peter ponders this idea for a moment before he lights up in a mischievous grin. "Dinner and bedtime story tonight, obviously. Science, too. And... Ice cream after school."

"Sounds good, Petey. I'll pick you up after your classes out front, okay? And we'll go get ice cream together. I love you, okay?"

"Love you too, Daddy," Peter murmurs. "Just don't sleep on the floor anymore. It's cold and looks uncomfy."

"Okay, baby. I'll stop sleeping on the floor. Now, let's go. You've got a bus to catch."

*

"You look tense," Steve points out. They're in the car on the way to pick up Peter for ice cream. Tony's just hoping that Peter won't mention anything to Steve who will no doubt piece everything together.

"I haven't been the greatest dad in the world," Tony replies with a soft sigh. "My father used to do this all the time. He'd be a total dick to me and then take me out for ice cream or get me a present. As a kid, I thought it made everything okay if he gave me presents after hurting me. Because at least he was trying, right? At some point, he stopped bothering to give gifts."

"You're nothing like your dad, love," Steve mumbles, reaching across the middle to put his free hand on Tony's leg with a quick smile. "You're a good dad. You've just been preoccupied recently. You're handling everything way better than I thought you would."

Tony wants to spill everything. His bad drinking habits and how ugly he feels on the inside. He wants to open his mouth and let everything fall out in the form of word-vomit.

Instead he says, "I just don't want Peter to take the repercussions of my mistakes."

"He's the happiest kid I've ever met. He'll be just fine. Especially after we take him out for ice cream. I heard you promised him a lot more than that too."

"Anything for my kid," Tony agrees. Except that's apparently a lie, proven by the last few months of bad habits. Apparently, alcohol falls above Peter in his list of priorities.

Peter's grinning and happy as ever as he hops into the backseat of their beaten-up car, already rambling about his fantastic day.

He has a new favourite dinosaur, Miss Cat has officially bumped him up to Grade four maths, even though he can do higher than that as a kindergartener, Peter and Ned got to watch Bill Nye at recess instead of playing outside, and the lunch lady gave Peter an extra cookie at lunch.

Steve pulls up outside the ice cream parlour, waiting for Tony to help Peter out of the car before holding open the door for both of them.

Peter chooses bubble gum and birthday cake for his double scoop ice cream cone. Steve gets strawberry and vanilla. Tony gets cookie dough and chocolate chip.

Tony takes Peter's free hand, the one that isn't carrying his cone, as they start walking down the long street. They're just outside the city where they can see the skyscrapers far off in the horizon, lifting above the trees easily, but there's no people bustling down the sidewalks and the air is clean.