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"i got this, breathe"
i mutter as i approach billie and the line gets closer i get more and more knots in my stomach.

holy shit i can't believe i'm about to meet her! i'm actually in love with her lmao.

billie has helped me through so many things in life i don't think anyone can remotely understand.

i'm now next in line and the girl who was with billie walked away.

i stand there for a solid 5 seconds as billie motions for me to come to her with a smile
i hug her as tightly not wanting to let go.

i can smell her, i can touch her, i am touching her. HOLY SHIT IM HUGGING BILLIE EILISH.

"how are you mama?"
billie says as we let go of each other.
"i'm better now!" i say as a smile takes over my face
"oh my god!" billie says
"what!?!?!?" i start to get very concerned. did i do something wrong?
"you're so fucking beautiful" billie says cause my heart to melt
"dude have you seen yourself" billie continues
"billie stop omg" i say as i start to blush.
"what's your name love?" billie says smiling
"oh i'm y/n" i say softly

y/n. that's so beautiful. hell, she is so beautiful so i'm not surprised.
"your name suits you" i say as i let out a little laugh
"thanks" she says.
"this may sound weird umm can i have your insta?"
"wait really i-" i could tell she was thrown off guard by my question
"yeah" i say as i laugh softly and then look up into her eyes.

i look over and i can tell the guards were trying to rush me but i could talk to y/n for hours.
"hey, when you leave write it down on a piece of paper over there, but let's take a picture" i say as i smile.

i walked away from billie and did exactly what she said. and i gave the paper to maggie.

i walked out and got my spot for the concert. i was front and center. about 30 minutes go by and on my phone and i get a notification.

 about 30 minutes go by and on my phone and i get a notification

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i then immediately get a dm from billie

BILLIE POVi can't stop thinking about her

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i can't stop thinking about her.

not like that...well kinda... i mean.....I DONT KNOW
it's just i've never seen anyone that beautiful.

i get ready to walk on stage and i hear everyone chanting my name.


i start the show and the whole time i'm thinking about y/n and her lips and how it'd feel to kis-

"FUCK" i scream through the mic...did i just.... i really just... forgot the lyrics to my strange addiction

i finally get through the show and i actually wanted to drown. that was so embarrassing.

i hurry to get on the bus and take a steaming shower. the water covers my face as i hold my head back. the heat of the water was calming on my sore body.

i get into my bunk. i feel like i'm suffocating in the small space but i enjoy it. it relaxes me.

i role over to my side and get on my phone to see y/n dmed me back. i feel bad that i didn't see it sooner.

she makes me happy.

in the little time we spent together she put some kind of spell on me and i never wanted it to be released.

we dm back and forth all night. i wanted to give her my number, but so many people would sell it so i refrained from doing so.

i don't know why but i trusted her. more than anyone i knew.

we talked for what felt like 20 minutes but in reality we had been talking all night.
i look at the time and realize it's 3am


"hey y/n"
billie says

y/n say

"i really need to go to sleep"

"lmao okay goodnight love"

"but i don't want to"

"and i don't want you to, but
don't you have another show tomorrow"

"ugh yeah you're right :(
this tour shit is getting to be too
much sometimes like
i just want a break "

"i'm sorry! i want you to that
i'm here for you if you need
anything i'm here for you"

"ahhh mama thank you so much
you don't know how much you
mean to me"

"okay now go to sleep lmao"

" finneeee, goodnight mama"

"goodnight love"


i can't even describe how y/n makes me feel. i wish i could talk to her for hours and hours.

soon i feel myself starting to drifting off with the thought of y/n in my head. i just want to talk to her again.
i just want to.

AHHHHH okay umm i'll right more stuff later but fyi there is gonna be smut later on sooooo yeah

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