Colorless-Chapter 1: The World is Nothing

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Chapter 1: The World is Nothing

The life of someone suicidal isn’t dark. It isn’t light either. The life of a suicidal person is nothing. Not good, not bad. No. It is nothing.

If the life of a suicidal person was dark, then it would be far too easy to walk along the wall and turn the lights back on. The life of a suicidal person is colorless, because finding color in a colorless world is impossible.

My name is Akira Kioshi. Ironic, huh? Both of my names mean “light”.

Anyway, I am 17 years old and headed to my new school. Despite what you may think, I’ve only been to one other school. Only I was there so long people got scared of me.

It’s not my fault, I just don’t want to live.

As you may have already discovered, I’m suicidal. I’ve tried to kill myself many times, to no prevail.

Someone always saves me. I know what you’re thinking: “If you jump, don’t you want someone to catch you?”

The answer is a simple no.

I know it’s strange, but if I jump, I want someone who loves me enough to jump after me.

I had that once. He was my only friend, my best friend. He was the color in my world.

We met one hot day, near the end of my fourth school year. I was on top of the roof at school, standing on the ledge. The wind was blowing, and my empty heart was racing in excitement.

I was finally gonna do it.

I took a step forward, and suddenly someone grabbed my sleeve. I looked back to see a boy my age with light blonde hair.

“Don’t jump,” he said.

“Why?” I asked.

“Because if you jump, then I’ll have to jump after you,”

Something about what he said made me jump back down, away from the ledge. My life got slowly beter after that, until one day.

We were crossing the street one day, and a truck was driving too fast. My friend pushed me to the sidewalk, and when I looked back, the truck rammed into him.

Blood splattered on my shoes. They had to scrape him of the ground.

That day, the color disappeared again, and I haven’t been able to find it since……

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Reo Akihiko has chocolate brown hair and golden eyes. At the High School he is seen as one of the most attractive men, besides the class president and vice president. One problem though. No, he isn’t going out with someone. He has terrible anger issues.

Very terrible. He’s thrown a desk at the teacher, pummeled a class mate with a hard covered thesaurus. Not dictionary, thesaurus. He even stuffed someone into a garbage can and pushed them down the stairs.

He threatens all his therapists, so his parents decided to let him take karate. When he injured the instructor, they sent him to kendo, but he always split open his opponents head. They sent him to Tai Chi, but he could never stay calm long enough to learn anything.

So they just settled on saying it was just a faze he was going through.

He did have friends though.

Yuri and Yuki Sumino, the twins, and Hakai Judo. Yuki and Hakai were the President and Vice President of the student body, but Yuri got in just as much trouble as Reo did.

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