Woman Born, Woman Torn

Chapter One: An unwanted outlaw is born

Ever pick up a dictionary and read it cover to cover just for the heck of it? You should try it some time. "Birth": to most it is undeniably the most beautiful word in the world; reminding us that we are not all there is; there is something greater; God's most glorious miracle. Still a few foolish scoundrels chose to consider it a curse; hence the nastiest word in the English language came into being: "abortion."

Had it not been for Matilda's religion  providing her a most convenient snare to ensnare ever excuse-making George as her husband, Josie might have never been.

Although she would never know how close she came to becoming a memory that never was,  Josie would wish she was never born far more than any child should. For Matilda's twisted motherly instincts followed a similar path of convenience as her religion, as did her misguided malcontent malformed heart. Finding pleasing Matilda to be far less troublesome than not doing so, Papa George was no prise either.

Her parents would never get their self-centered priorities straight. Naming a child has to top the list of things that shouldn't be put-off till the last minute.  Nevertheless procrastination, being a family tradition, led to a non-inspiring maternity-ward name-calling battle of the witless.

Leading the charge with all the raunchy panache of a sailor on leave was Matilda; who, having a predilection for bad-boys, was dead set on naming her new daughter "Jessie" after her favorite ruthless outlaw of all time.

The trapped father-to-be, George, had other ideas. Hoping to make the best of a bad situation by vicariously marrying into money so he could retire early, the pompous prick insisted on a name more befitting a lady.

In the aftermath of a yelling match not fit for adult, never mind newborn ears, "Josephine" was the name officially inscribed onto baby girl's birth certificate; her disenchanted mom having to settle for calling her "josie for short.

Matilda won a minor victory in that the middle name of "Sundance" was also stamped upon her pink-bellied prodigy, not that Josie would ever have much use for it.

A bundle of joy Josie was not. The Wilsons were not a well-matched pair. George and Matilda might have belonged together hanging from a tree; however in the real world Josie's gorilla-minded parents should have never been allowed to produce an offspring never mind raise one. It wasn't natural; it just wasn't fair.

With parents so full of hate for each other there was no room left for loving anyone aside from themselves; and at times one had to wonder about that; bitterness came as natural to colicky Josie as the sea of goofy grins did to the rest of her corralled comrades. Her crying constantly wasn't her fault, it was her heredity.

Other than diapers, her creepy first year crawled by with little changes; while the sun shined in other toddler's eyes, her baby blues remained overcast with tears. Newborn Josie Sundance Wilson saw little sunshine and even less dancing during her early childhood; her gloomy Gerber mood reflected drearily by her environment.

Rainbows, unicorns, and lollipops didn't decorate Josie's nursery, penny-pinching trolls did. A pale unisex coat of olive-drab military-surplus paint with a faded five and dime ironic carving of "home-sweet-home" set the stage for her early draft. Decorative cartoon character cut away from cereal boxes adorned heer tattered walls; torn cardboard being the only proof her mother gave a damn. Money would always be an issue, whereas Josie rarely was.

Frugal financial frustrations governed the Wilson household with every expense spared in the furniture department as well. Procured from Good Will with anything but; Josie's paint-=peeling prison cell of a crib gave her little inspiration for sweet dreams.