The Secret Identity Of A Nerd

Chapter 5: The Truth Beneath His Mask

One day, he confessed to her and she accepted becoming his girlfriend. For him, everything was perfect. He thought nothing would ever separate them. That was until he discovered that Tanya was cheating on him. I never forgot his exact words when he found out:

"Girls are nothing but cold, heart-less whores that stick with every guy that they see. They don't understand what it really means to fall for someone. I never want to fall for someone ever again!"

He was heartbroken and ever since he's never taken a relationship seriously. They all became flings or just things that helped keep his status.

Now, he had that exact same look on his face that he once had so many years ago.

Fear, confusion, and endearment contaminated his glassy orbs as they swirled like never ending deep pools.

"I- I'm afraid, Kendall. I- I don't want to feel like this." He grunts and slides down on his side of the bench. His head rests on the back board of it and he supports his weight with his legs, his bottom laying at the edge of the hard seat.

"I just don't want to get hurt again. I don't want to fall all over again. I fear that if I do, I'll only end up the same way as I did with..." He trailed off, not wanting to say her name.

He gazed up at me, almost broken, and I understood from that moment that he depended on me. He was lost and he wanted my advice. Just this one girl was messing him up this badly and he didn't know what to do.

As if to confirm my thoughts, he sat up correctly and faced me with an innocent expression I had never seen him make before, saying the exact same words I knew he was going to say:

"What do I do?"

I close my eyes while I intake a large breath. When I slowly release it I peer at him straight in the eye and become dead serious.

"If you want my help, you need to push the past aside and forget about what Tanya did to you. Not all girls are the same."

He cringes slightly at the mention of the name but slowly nods in understanding.

"Now, I won't ask you who she is but, what do you really feel about this girl? Is it exactly the same way you felt about Tanya?"

His brows furrow together as he searches his train of thought. His face becomes blank and rids of all his mixed feelings that his face had easily revealed in an instant. He closes his eyes and inhales a shaky breath that even caused me to get goosebumps. His face relaxes and when he opens his eyes, it becomes painted with a new glow of peace.

"No... it's much more."

"Then what are you waiting for?"

He tilts his head and stares at me in confusion for a moment. When it finally sinks in he begins to panic. He abandons his seat and paces quickly back and forth in front of me.

"But, then, what do I tell her? I can't just say 'Hey, what's up, wanna get a bite to eat with me?'"

"Just use your charm that maked you get all the girls you've ever dated."

He stops his pacing and glares at me as if I had said the most stupidest thing on Earth.

"I only used those tactics with women I didn't give a sh*t about. And in the end, they would usually turn into one-night stands. I don't want this girl to become like the rest. I don't want her to become just another girl into my pile of hundreds. I want her to be with me, I want her to last. I want her to want me not because of my looks or my status but because of me.

I want every time that she lays in my arms for my feelings towards her to grow. I don't just want to date her to figure out how she kisses or how good she is in bed but to get to know her. Figure out what she likes and dislikes, figure out if she has siblings and how many. Figure out the story behind those lovely eyes of hers."

I sat immobile in my frozen spot, speechless. I had never heard John speak this way, and so passionately at that. He meant every word that escaped his mouth and he had the guts to speak them out aloud. And to think that love did this to him. It sounded so cliche and foolish even, but it was actually happening right before my eyes.

I continued to gawk at him in silence and he groaned in annoyance. He roughly ran his fingers through his dark caramel gelled hair, causing it to ruin tremendously.

"F*ck! I sound just like the chicks in those frikin' romance movies. Sh*t, man! What have I become?"

He violently throws himself on the wooden bench and covers his eyes with his arm. I peer down at his restless figure amused.

"What the hell do you expect, you're in love." I claimed, chuckling slightly.

He lifts his arm from one of his chocolate marbles and stares at me. He laughs softly and completely removes his arm from his face. They lay on the back board of the bench we were still sitting on as he began to speak.

"I guess you're right." He agrees, a soft smile lighting up his face. His eyes suddenly go wide and he hastily gets up from the seat.

"Yo, what time is it?" He queried hurriedly.

I yank my phone out of my pocket and show him what it say. 6:23 P.M.

"Holy sh*t, I'm late! And I was the one who told her to meet me at a specific time." He began to panic and quickly pace back and forth again.

"Dude, get a grip. First fix that hair of yours, then walk your way to your meeting place."

"How can you expect me to walk there if I'm already late and keeping her waiting? She's probably not even there anymore."

Just before he was about to start running I grabbed a firm hold of his shoulder. He stared at me with impatient eyes and I noticed he was breaking into a cold sweat.

"You need the walk to compose yourself. What, do you expect her to meet some guy who looks disheveled and reeks of sweat. I think she won't want to last long in your presence." I didn't want to be a jackwad but he needed to understand that I was doing it for his sake.

He seemed to have calmed down and took in a large breath. After he fixed his hair, he began to walk slowly towards where we came from.

"Oh, wait!" I yelled and dashed towards his side. I handed him two mints and he stared at me in question.

"We don't need her to smell what you just ate. I'm pretty sure she already ate chicken." He laughed at my comment and gleefully accepted the mints.

"Thanks for everything, Kendall."

After popping the mints in his mouth he waved and we made our separate ways.

I hope this girl isn't just another whore that's going to play him. He may seem like a horrible person but I think he deserves someone better. It was because of that one girl that made him the way he was, so, he's not to blame.

I continued to think to myself as I headed back towards the wooden bench and pulled out my phone to call a taxi.

He needs someone who can see beneath his façade. Someone who can see beneath that mask he always wears to prevent him from getting hurt. He needs someone who can see him for who he really is.