Chapter Fourteen

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London N

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London N.

I stood in the full length mirror inside of Nipsey's walk in closet staring at myself not satisfied with what I saw.

Gun shot wounds, bruises and a swollen face stared back at me through the mirror, Nipsey was in the bathroom setting up a "surprise" for me while I pointed out each of my flaws in my tank top and a pair of Nipsey's sweats.

"I'm not feeling it" I spoke to myself lightly touching my face.

Insecurity was my top flaw, no matter how much people complimented me about my features or personality I always found something that made me feel like I wasn't enough.

I could go on and on how Brent fucked up my self esteem but I would be partially lying when I felt like this way before him, I was my biggest critic. Nanny always got on me for being too hard on myself but I was a perfectionist.

" Just wait until you see what a nigga set up for you"

Nipsey was the first man, first person I actually believed when he gave me compliments but still I needed to work on myself and believing I could be enough.

" You trying to cop up on my hoodies" Nipsey joined me inside of the closet.

" No"

Nipsey rubbed his beard and squinted his eyes at me, something he always did when he was trying to read me.

" You aight?"

I didn't want to lie and lowering my head to avoid his stare, he put his hand under my chin lifting it up.

" Speak yo truth Lo"

" I'm self conscious about how I look"

He didn't suck his teeth or give me a look to say " are you serious?" He placed his hands on my shoulder turning me towards the mirror.

" What do you see?" I bit my lip taking a look at myself still not satisfied with how I look.

" I have bruises, my face and eye is swollen not to mention the gun holes in my chest"

Nipsey wrapped his arms around my waist putting his head in the crook of my neck like I loved his beard tickled my neck making me squirm a little in his arms.

" You wanna know what I see?" I nodded, he kissed my cheek twice.

" I don't see a swollen face I see strength dat you faced ya abuser to get ya son back"

He took one of his hands resting it on the gun wounds that were steal healing, I felt insecure having him put attention to my flaws.

" I don't see gun shot holes I see resilience dat you didn't let what happened to you scare you , fuck all da physical ya soul is pure , you gotta a good heart you dope London"

Blushing was an understatement, my face hurt from trying not to smile so hard.

" Take my hand I want you to see my surprise and to meet somebody close to me"

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