Lotus - Short story

Lotus

     For once, though my feet were dangling off the edge of our rooftop, everything was calm. When I looked in front of me, I could see the sky melting from blue to shades of pink and orange.
     To the left were some lines of smoke being lifted into the air coming from the cigarette Charlie was smoking.
     "You know those are basically cancer scrolls right?" I remarked.
     "And they can cause lung cancer and kill me blah, blah, blah. . . " he stated after taking a drag.
     The sun was setting deeper into the horizon so I suggested we go back inside.
     On the little edge of the roof above my balcony, where we climb up and down, was written, "Thalia and Charlie's hideout" in eight year-old me's messy handwriting. Beside it was a blue arrow pointing upwards.
     Once we were inside, I crawled under the sheets of my bed and Charlie laid on my sofa by the window. As he was already wearing an oversized sweater with The Beatles on it, he didn't need a blanket.
     The next day came painfully bright and early. As if out of instinct, I looked over to the sofa at the corner where my best friend was sitting. He gazed at the window, not noticing I was awake, gazing at him. He was smoking yet again.
     "I know you're staring." he murmured, not even looking at me.
so much for not noticing me
     "If you don't quit that habit, it will destroy you and everyone you cared for." I replied.
     "You should know," he began, "My intentions with this so-called habit of mine is not at all to destroy you." that caused a heat to rush up my cheeks.
     I shook it off and simply spoke, "In your dreams, loser, now let's get something to eat, I'm hungry."
     And with that, the day began, went on, ended, then Monday came up.
    Later on at school, we took our lunch at the bleachers by the field, and as always, we spoke about the most unrelated things.
     "Have you ever considered being in a relationship?" I asked
     "Maybe, once or twice recently. Why do you ask?"
     "I don't know. Ever considered Anna?" my thoughts went to the tall girl who dresses with an edge but can't seem to get over her scrunchies.
     "No, not really, but I've already got someone in mind, have you?" diverting the question to me again.
     "Even if I had, I don't think a girl with anger issues and a bipolar disorder would be really lovely to date." I responded with a sad smile.
     In between classes, Alex walked up to me with Lorraine trailing behind her.
     "Thalia, mind if I ask you something?" she asked.
     "Sure, go for it."
     "This may sound stupid, but since you and Charlie seem to be very close, do you know if he has any feelings for me?" she inquired with a mixture of hope and worry in her eyes.
Could she be the one he has in mind? I thought.
     "Honestly, I don't know, but if it'll ease you out, I could try to ask him subtly." I answered.
     "Thank you, that means so much."
     I simply nodded and went on my way. Though I do my best to control it these days, I could feel my rage formed from the stress and anxiety wanting to burst out. But that wasn't the only thing buried under it all. As leaving for college was going to be a thing soon, I need to forget somehow. The leaving part wasn't hard, it was all the things that would stick with me once I left that was weighing me down.
     I wasn't simply going to leave what I have reciprocated for Charlie, but I was going to leave him clean, and hopefully already with someone to make him happy and take care of him.
     My thoughts went on like that for the remaining hours of school until I was home. As usual my dad wasn't home, probably with another girl he managed to pick up.
     I entered my room to finish up some reading assignments. Specifically my Greek history and mythogy one. Apparently, Odysseus landed on an island of Lotophagi, or Lotus-eaters, that were basically high on these flowers making them forgetful and careless.
     Kind of like Charlie I thought, but I erased it from my mind immediately. Charlie is not a Lotus-eater. My mind drifted me off to sleep eventually but I woke up a bit earlier than usual to get ready for school.
     Surprisingly, my dad was downstairs making toast. As soon as he noticed me he greeted me good morning.
     "Have you heard the news from last night?" he asked me.
      "What news? I slept early last night."
     "A kid from either one of the two schools here got into an accident." he answered while popping out the toast. I then grabbed one for my self.
     "Oh. . . what kind of accident?"
     "The reports say that the kid got hit by a car driven by an alcoholic. I'll see if it's on the news right now." he turned the tv on and flipped to the local news channel.
     A familiar but normally perky woman was on the screen, and as my dad thought, she was reporting the accident last night.
     She began, "Nineteen year-old Charlie Peters was announced dead after a drunk driver ran his car into him. The driver was said to have-". Out of shock, I shut the TV off and ran out immediately.
     I'm not going to school today, I decided. My lungs felt heavy, and oxygen felt heavy in them. Strangely enough, the tears were being jerked out but nothing fell.
     Soon I arrived at the nearby diner I always went out to get breakfast with Charlie. I ordered a cup of mocha and as soon as I recieved it, I opened my bag in search of my phone. Having not checked it since me and Charlie were at the rooftop, I was surprised to see a piece of paper sticking out of the case.
     When I unfolded it, the familiar scratch of his penmanship was scrawled on it. The letter read:
Much like a lotus flower, you are able to rise from the mud of others and bloom. I don't want to keep holding you down. You have to let go of me like I already did. Promise me Thalia.
     The letter was short, but the message felt like bricks on my shoulders, and hurricanes in my head. That's when I broke.