Over Time

I stand by and watch him be something he's not from a distance. He puts on that face. He's acting like he's just what these girls that surround him, asking for autographs, have made him. But I know there's more to him than that. He's alone, and he hates it. Even with all the people he's around the whole day, he's alone because they don't really know the person behind the fame. They don't care, as long as he aids their fantasies when they try to sleep at night.

It's never been about the adoration for him. It's never been about the money. He just loves to do what he does. He always has, ever since he was twelve years old. He'd take out the keyboard his parents brought him one Christmas and just sit, creating melodies. He was different back then, when I first met him. Before the hard work turned into fame. Before the day's faded into nights. Before every time he walked out of his door he came face to face with fans. Before people saw him as money. It was simple back then when he was ordinary and he knew people surrounded him because of who he was, not what he was.

I fear that he'll never know what it felt like before the band blew up. That he'll never know what it's like to be ordinary again. Just a guy walking down the streets that no one need pay attention to, just so they'd feel better about their lives because they'd had a brush of fame by meeting a celebrity. These girls were the making of him, but they'll be the break of him. I can see it coming. He's decomposing before my eyes. With every visit, I see more and more of the guy I knew once hidden behind a thicker wall of defence, intending to keep out all the bad stuff. The stress of not being around his own people is getting to him. But this place is all he knows now.

I don't think he could survive having a regular day job, to be home every night and sleep in his own bed. I don't think he'd know how to be that regular guy, with regular problems and regular relationships. I know he's changed too much to be that. It's not completely a bad change. He's still just a guy. He's just grown up. He knows the people he can trust and the people he can't. He knows that everything he does is put under a microscope and analysed. But he's just a guy. He makes mistakes.

Suddenly he's not signing autographs no more. He's grabbing my hand and dragging me inside the sanctuary of his home.

He closes the door and looks at me, "Thank God that's over." He says and I can tell by his eyes that he doesn't want this welcome whenever he comes home. This is where he comes to hide. To be the simple guy no one sees, but they're still waiting for him.

Then he smiles. He's glad to be home. To have a year to be just, whoever he wants to be. A whole year.

Will that mean he'll eventually be able to walk to the shops without someone recognising him on the street? Will this year mean he'll become just a regular guy? Will people care about getting his autograph then? I don't know. But I'll love him all the same. He's my friend. No matter if everyone knows his name or no one does. If he's forgotten for what he gave to the music industry, then so be it. But I'll always love him just the same. I've seen him win love and lose love. I've seen him on bad days and good. I've seen him scared and overjoyed. I've been with him from the start.

With a sigh he walks over and wraps his arms around me. My 5'4" frame coming to chest height with his 6'1". Perfect hugging height. I smile as he squeezes me tight because I know he's happy to be home. "I missed you so much." He says.

It's only been a month since he saw me last. But I know he misses 'us'. I hug him back for a while before I rub his back, "I know you did, and I missed you too."

Pulling away, he looks down at my face and I see a twinkle in his eye, "I'm home." He says before running off to the lounge.

I laugh and follow to find him switching on the stereo and pumping up the volume on his latest CD. He starts jumping about the room without a care in the world and I shake my head with a giggle. This is the guy I know. This is the guy I've always known. He just hides away a while around people that are only interested in his fame. He runs over to me and grabs my hand before leading me to the couch. We both climb on and start jumping until our bodies can't take anymore.