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"There was a time in my life where I didn't think I could possibly live without you but as times come to pass I realized that I need you here. I need you for guidance, I need you to love me, to care for me, to show me the way. When you were here I took you for granted and didn't realize what I had until it was gone. To this day I regret it. I regret the many times you called me and said "Ann come home, let watch a movie and talk" or when you'll just come and pick me up from school just for the fun of it.
I went from having two parents growing up to losing a mom at four and now I'm twenty about to be legal to drink with you and sit at the big boy table with you and uncle Rob and I can't even do that. There been times where I'll call him and ask him to just hold me because I can't bear the fact that your not here anymore. I don't know how I'll do with out you being here yelling at me to lower my music when I come home.
You were truly my first love, you taught me all that I know and I plan on taking us far. You are my hero, my inspiration without you daddy I don't know what I'll do. I wish you the best of luck on your travels to Jesus make sure you tell my mom I still miss her and think of her always. It'll be selfish of me to say I want you here when you weren't happy, she was your love and I can't keep you where you don't want to be wanted. So I'll let you go dad, I'll let you be free with mama. Y'all take care and watch over me."
I sniffled and dried my eyes with my shirt as I watched the nurse unplug my father, Donald Earl Jones. He was a thirty three year old man, celebrating his birthday with a group of friends and family, basically a boys night out when someone opened gun fire and took out a father of three. He was not able to live to see my brothers be born but I'll take my whole life explaining to them how much daddy loved them. He was so happy to be getting his sons, in his word "you too much Ann, I need some boys time." We would always joke about him having one child and it being a girl but than he met a women who "changed" his life and he got her pregnant just his luck she was blessed with twin boys.
My father was everything a little girl could ask for and more. No one could compare to him. Today was a hard day but I know he'll understand and would've wanted this. "Fuck you! You killed your brothers father, they could've had what you had but you took that chance away from them" his "girlfriend" yelled at me as I exited out of his hospital room.
"Now now listen here don't be yelling at my niece like you lost your mind, I ain't never hit no female before especially no pregnant female but you gone watch your mouth when talking to her" my uncle Toby said coming to my rescue. I just simply rolled my eyes and grab my book bag, she started crying. "How could you?! How could you do this to me, to your brothers?" She cried.
I just stared at her, "Go home Anni, I got this ok?" My dad best friend uncle Aron said trying to get me away from her wrath but she kept coming closer and closer to me. And before we knew it she slapped me. "Hold on bitch back up" he said pushing her and it was a hard push too. "You may have gotten our family fucked up, we don't play about this one. That our kin in there but you no kin to us. I'll wait till you drop my nephew and fuck your shit up myself putting your hands on her like that. She lost someone too, she lost her dad her only living parent. If he wanted you to make the decisions he would've made you the person to do so he clearly ain't trust you nor like you enough to do such thing. Get out of here before I regret more"
