Random Collection of Thoughts

Fading

I see you every day,

and realize that you are fading fast.

Leaving me behind,

like we were never friends.

I always knew it was coming,

and I dreaded it.

I don't know why

Im so hurt

by the fact that you are fading.

I knew,

I expected,

but, I'm still stung.

The first week of school,

She came up to me

and told me

you weren't my best friend any more.

I looked over to you,

and you said "no,

I didn't say that."

but sarcastically.

Did you see

the hurt in my eyes?

That moment

When I couldnt stop myself

from showing you how I felt.

But I shoved it down

as fast as it had came,

and smiled,

the most sickly-sweet smile

I had ever managed.

"That's nice"

I spat, still smiling.

And I turned and walked away.

Leaving you,

behind to fade on your own.

Everything I thought

I knew about you

has been reversed.

And I see you

leaving who you

used to be behind.

Is there any way

for me to stop you

from fading?

Or should I just

let you fade?

My heart still

wonders,

why are you

so different?

You didn't used

to be this way.

You used to be

a different person.

But my mind knows,

that I set myself

up for disappointment

from the moment

I met you.

I always knew,

that your loyalties

would change so fast.

And you would change also.

And I could not stop it.

So should I try

to change you back,

or let you fade?

All those things

you have said

to me recently

reverberate in my mind

when I see you.

And when I feel

like I want to scream

at you,

what I have wanted to say

for a long time,

I remind myself.

I remind myself

that I knew this

was going to happen.

And not to let it bother me.

But it does.

Can you see

the hurt in my eyes?