Only us// a DEH A/U

I

Evans POV****

"You're mom isn't going anywhere your mom is staying right here."

What a lie, you see a younger Evan believed this, in fact he relied on this empty promise. This was until he turned sixteen, apparently his mom was waiting until he could basically take care of himself to just off herself. It worked out fine logically but not when you're already a mess and looking for someone to help and love you. I live at a orphanage and every time I get a interview I just purposely try to blow it and it works. When I first came here I tried to find a family but after blowing all of them I gave up and just decided that I don't need a family to leave me again and then have to restart my process of abandonment. I still go to school and I work a job but I decide to not grow attached to something so when the rug is pulled out from under me I can just land on my feet. I have one friend and that's really it but he's kind of a prick, don't get me wrong he's a nice guy most of the time but he can be a dick if you fuck with him.

School wise everything is alright other than being made fun of. Once I came out as gay everyone turned on me including most of my friends, my mom was my main support system so once I lost her school became hell. Jared stuck with me which I appreciate and he has definitely helped but it still isn't the same, nothing is the same.

I can't believe I have to go back there in a week. It's just going to be the same the same old kids, the same old insults, and the same old distant Evan. Nothing ever changes, and if it does then it's only for the worse. At this point I'm convinced god just gave up and went to look after some other dimension Evan Hansen.

Once I get to dinner I go to sit by myself only to be followed by some little kid I haven't seen before. Once I sit down he sits down with me.

"Can I help you?" I ask.

"Oh, um I just got here. And I don't know many people. And you just seem nice, but I can leave if you want me to." He says standing up.

"No you can stay. What's your name?"

"My name is Ben." He stammers.

"Nice to meet you Ben, I'm Evan"

"Hi Evan."

For the rest of dinner I talk to him about school, his interests, and our lives before here. Before landing on a question I hate.

"So why are you here?" He asks innocently.

Well I can't just say 'well my mom killed herself and my dad doesn't love me enough to take me, how about you?'

"Well," I clear my throat "my mom died and my dad has another family to take care of after he divorced my mom."

"Oh, I'm sorry Evan." He looks surprised and empathetic.

"Don't be, anyway we probably have to get back to our rooms."

Once we throw our food away I walk him back to his room after saying goodnight.

I'll enjoy this feeling of slight comfort until I'm punched in the face by reality once again.

A/N***
So let me know what you think.

I'm really excited for this book and I hope you are too. Also sorry if these chapters are a bit short but I'm going to try to work on that.

- R 💖🐝