Please Stand By x Silent Voice

Lost

Wendy wakes up. She makes her bed, puts her towel in the laundry, and takes a shower. It is Monday. So she puts on her orange sweater because Monday means orange. She takes a deep breath, puts on her lanyard, and walks downstairs. Scottie is waiting for her. Wendy hopes she doesn't have to practice eye contact today, but she doubts she'll be that lucky. Wendy puts her lips to her kazoo and plays their normal greeting tune. Scottie plays the tune back with her kazoo. Since Wendy doesn't like hugs, they do this instead. Even though she is misunderstood at times, Scottie really does her best. Wendy likes this about her.

"Good morning,Wendy."

"Good morning, Scottie."

Wendy takes a seat at the table where they do their daily exercises. This involves working on Wendy's social skills, controlling her emotions, and learning how to deal with sensory stimuli.

"So," Scottie says, while taking out her papers. "How are you today?"

Wendy frowns. She hates this question. Scottie asks it every day, as if it is a simple thing for Wendy to know. How is she today? Wendy can't tell. She looks at the floor and slowly rocks back and forth, contemplating an answer.

Finally, she mumbles "I don't know."

"What was that?"

Oh. Wendy wasn't speaking out loud, was she? She repeats her answer, louder this time.

"I don't know."

"Can you try to give me an answer please?" Scottie is trying to stare into Wendy's eyes. Wendy doesn't let her. Wendy likes Scottie, but no one gets to look into Wendy's eyes. She shakes her head.

"Try."

Wendy takes a deep breath and does her best to figure out what she is feeling.

"Nervous?"

"Why are you nervous?"

"I have to go to work today."

"You have to go to work every day. Why are you nervous about it today?"

"I'm nervous about it every day," Wendy shrugs.

"Do you think there is anything we can do to make you less nervous?"

"I don't know."

Scottie writes some things down on her papers and files them away for later.

"It's okay, we can work on it another time. Now..."

Wendy's body tenses. She knows what is coming.

"...how about we try five seconds of eye contact?"

"No."

"What was that?"

"No!" Wendy says a bit louder.

"Can we at least try?"

Wendy looks down. She thinks. She wants to please Scottie, and make her happy. Scottie is nice; she doesn't understand how difficult eye contact is for her. If Wendy looks Scottie in the eye for a few measly seconds, Scottie will be satisfied. She complies.

"One..." Scottie counts.

Scottie's eyes are locked on Wendy's.

"Two..."

Wendy can see the small flecks of color in her irises.

"Three..."

Scottie's eyes are piercing Wendy's, trying to read her, to read her every thought even though her thoughts are HERS, and -

"NO!" Wendy screams pounding her fists against her head over and over.

"IT'S MINE THEY'RE MINE STOP STOP STOP STOP!" her screams come out in shaky violent sobs.

Scottie immediately looks away from Wendy's eyes, not wanting to make the meltdown worse. She gently puts her arms around Wendy, stopping her from hitting herself (Wendy is okay, with Scottie doing this during a violent meltdown, as it helps her calm down).

"Please stand by," Scottie says, in a calm even voice. Wendy is laying on the floor now, her blonde hair strewn about her face.

"That's it, deep breaths. Please stand by. It's okay, you're okay. We don't have to practice any more eye contact today, okay?"

"Okay," Wendy squeaks.

"I think you should take the day off, that was a pretty big meltdown. I will call your work and tell them you don't feel well." Scottie reaches for the phone.

"No." Wendy says the word clearly and defiantly.

"Wendy, you just had a violent meltdown. You are obviously exhausted; I don't want the stress of work to trigger another meltdown and make things worse. You need to stay here and rest. How about you go watch some Star Trek for a bit?"

"No," she says again.

"I don't understand," Scottie admits. "Why do you want to go to work so badly?"

"I have to be an adult. Adults go to work. I have to be more mature. Audrey said so."

A few days earlier

"So, Wendy, how's your week been?" Audrey asks her sister, bouncing her baby girl on her knee.

"It's been fine."

"Just fine?"

"I don't know. I have to go to work every day. I don't like it. I wish I had more time to write, I guess." Wendy looks at the ceiling contemplating all the scripts she could write, and the stories she could tell if she didn't have to go to work every day.

"I don't understand why I have to work there every day when I'm not allowed to live on my own anyways," She frowns. "It's stupid."

"Wendy," Audrey says. "You have to go to work because that's what adults do. You can't just skip work because you don't like it. You need to stop acting like a child."

"I'm sorry," Wendy whispers.

"I just want you to be prepared for the real world," Audrey says. "That's all."

Wendy starts quoting random lines from Star Trek under her breath to calm herself down. When Audrey is upset with her, it makes Wendy anxious. She wants her sister to be proud of her, not disappointed.

"Wendy, would you please stop and listen to me?"

Wendy continues.

"Wendy!" Audrey forcefully puts her hands on Wendy's shoulders. "You can't talk to yourself like that, or people won't take you seriously."

Wendy stops.

"That's better," Audrey sighs. "You seem tired. Why don't you go back home? Tell Scottie I said hi."

Present

"I know you are trying to be more responsible, but you need to take care of your own wellbeing first," Scottie says. "Here." She hands Wendy her Star Trek dvd. "Why don't you go to your room and watch this for a bit? I will check on you in a couple of hours, okay?"

"Okay." Wendy reluctantly goes upstairs to her room.

A/N: Thanks for reading, if you liked this chapter, please vote!