He's my Love - A Jeff the Killer love story

Chapter 3

{Maddy's POV}

I couldn't stop the tears that spilled down my face. I was in utter disparation, my family had left. They had left me all by myself, alone in their house because I was a brat. Whenever I looked back the fact was very apparent to me. I had treated my family in complete disrespect in the past few months and it took me one harsh decision on their part to make me understand. And understand I did. I was being a fool, not helping anyone, and now not going to Italy for the remainder of x-mass break.

I stayed in my room the first day not even bothering to say goodbye to my family as they left out the front door. It was all terrifying for and heart breaking, but I knew I was going to be fine.

"Maddy, now I know you wanted to go on this trip very badly, but you won't, you are going to stay home and I'm going to make the neighbors check up on you regularly" my Dad sympathized. "But, what about food, what about the fact that I'm 14, and Christmas I-is j-Ust ha p need" I started crying causing my sentence to fall flat.

This can't be happening, it's not possible I wasn't that bad was I. "Maddy we are leaving the Smith's 400$ for them to to grocery shopping for your food. They will bring you food everyday at 11:00am and will be checking one you. Don't be worried ." I looked at Mom after hearing her words this was defiantly happening. All the joy of Christmas gone because of my attitude problem.

The memory brought me to more tears. It was 100% my fault the more I looked into my current situation. I was at least left my phone for emergency purposes, but that didn't fix the hole in my heart. My family loved my dearly but, it didn't feel like that anymore. I had used them and now. Now I was left alone without my mom, my brothers, my dad or my little sister. It made me feel sicker and sicker on the inside. How could people be so heartless.

I spent the next hours in depression trying to wrap my head around my current situation. I took until late in the evening to finally gather courage to walk down the staircase into my now empty house. I wish someone would come in my house and try to kill me so my family would feel bad about leaving me home alone. It would be the best form of revenge . They wouldn't dare leave my home alone after that, no they never would.

Boredom was always a problem for me. When I was bored I would waste my time with eating food and now that's all my mind what on. I was making food to cure my current array of boredom feeling bad about my family, feeling bad about my over weight ness, and feeling bad about my current situation. This was all caused by my stupid social media tabs I thought. If I didn't care about how people would think of me then I wouldn't be so self conscious and mean. In a rash decision between mixing eggs and adding batter to the cup cake mix, I deleted my Instagram and snap chat accounts. No more fake friends for me.

I ate in the loneliness of silence. Resulting in the chain reaction of horrifying scenarios to replay over and over in my head. What if someone tried to rob us, what if someone tried to kidnap me. Would my parents even care probably not. I stopped my thoughts from going further down the rabbit whole. This was ridiculous. I was being rediculous treating my family with so much disrespect. I was taught to always be kind. But, how did I end up being so mean to everyone around me. Sharing is caring, but I never shared my stuff. Don't bite the hand that feeds you. I hadn't only bitten the hand that fed me I completely mauled it off at this point. I was a horrible child.

I spent the remainder of the afternoon cleaning up my funfettie cupcakes and making the kitchen pristine, something I never ventured to do. It felt good doing something, I wished my parents were here to see how clean I made it, I was very proud of myself. But, no the reminder of how alone I was was back in full force and haunting my bored mind.

I was planning on making a simple microwave macaroni and cheese for dinner. It was easy to fill the tiny thing full of water and place it in the microwave waiting for the machine to hit the (food is ready) dings. I looked at my phone to pass time and saw that one of my friends Ryan had asked me why I deleted my Instagram. It made my smile to realize someone had cared about me.

I texted him as quick as I could replying with a :hey kind of in a mid life crises now. And left it at that. I grabbed my macaroni and cheese started eating the delicious concoction not realizing that the packaging had said to only heat for half the time that I heated it for. So when the first bite entered my mouth a felt a burning sensation and a disgusting taste of burnt noodles. The third wave of depression hit me then. I was so stupid how did I burn the damn thing that was my favorite dinner, something that I had been excited for and now it was ruined. I started crying because of the macaroni and cheese relizing how pathetic this all was.

I made another batch after disposing of the first one. I new I was letting my emotions take over. But, I couldn't help it. I should be feeling joy with all the lit up Christmas lights and the beautiful tree in my families living room but, I couldn't, because I had started to hate myself.

After cleaning the dishes I sat back down at the kitchen table to mull over the messy thoughts of today. I peered our the window hoping to see snow only to freeze in my thoughts. My entire body refused to move at what it saw in the reflection. A demented face of a pale white person, covered in blood with a shit eating grin plastered on their face. I pissed myself right their and then.

I was going to die. 

I had wished to hard