fantasy {p.jm} 🧸

day 7, week one

i loved you. or so what i thought love was. it made me realize if it even meant anything to you. was i joke? were you just somewhat bored? how could you give up something that had so, so much. i know you felt it, you felt what i felt. not just any high school love, but the one that you want to stick with you for the rest of your life. did the laughs, the cries, and the smiles together not mean anything to you? at all.?

we had everything. how could you just throw it away?

i held those stupid notes he stuffed in my locker and crumbled them. "iwhyrn. pfft. i wanna hug you right now? how pathetic." i scoffed and tossed the notes on the ground. i took a deep huff and fell backwards onto my bed.

why can't i just forget about you, cause it's not like you're having any trouble with that.

i picked up another note that i've stored in my binder. "i was sooooooo close -from you know who already :) ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️" gosh we were so cringe back then. i chuckled.

was it really that long ago though when we had to pass notes to each other because we were too nervous to speak face to face in school?

i couldn't help but have a soft laugh in the midst of a heartache.

                                     ~•~•~

I rushed to my locker "gosh am I dumb?! How could I leave my textbook here. Just before next class too, great." I open my locker in frustration. But as I do so, I noticed a piece of paper dangling on the top shelf. My heart filled with excitement because I knew exactly what it was.
The note read "I wanna be with you rnnn ;(("  Geez this kid is so frking cheesy. I smile. I secretly love it though. Heat filled my cheeks as I rushed to write something back "you're so cute ;)" I wrote. I slipped the note in his locker, which was directly across mine in the hallway.

After school, I headed to the park. Jimin wrote to meet him there after school. There, I saw him, sitting on the swings, enjoying himself. I couldn't help but to stare in awe because of how beautiful his features were. He looks like a kid.
"Hey Ella! Come over here!" He yelled once he noticed me. I ran over to the swing beside him. "You know, we really need to make code words for certain phrases in our notes" I sparked a conversation
"and why so?"
"Because you're really cheesy you know, and what if we drop a note and someone picks it up and cringes"
"are you saying you don't want me to write you notes anymore?" He looked away, playfully pretending to be hurt
"no!! That's not at all what I meant!!" he laughed at my reaction
"ahh Ella, even if you wanted me to, I would never stop writing notes to you. Because I know it makes you smile, and I always want to make you smile. And besides, why wouldn't I want to write notes to you on how I feel" he gave me a cute smile
  "Park Jimin, sometimes my heart can't handle how sweet you are"
"and sometimes I can't handle how pretty you are" I felt my happiness with him. He was so genuine and sweet, it was almost like he meant every word he said. I liked that. Not to mention cheesy too haha..

"I-w-b-w-y-r-n. I wanna be with you right now. Memorize the code so you can just write that and no one else would understand except us" I explained
"okay. I'll keep that in mind. We'll make more later, now hurry, let's go get something to eat before I walk you home" Jimin motioned me to stand beside him as he hopped off the swing. He put his arm around me as we walked to the nearest bubble tea place as I tried not to internally scream haha..

~•~•~

You gave me hope. Hope that makes me feel happy, makes me feel like I have a purpose. You made my heart flutter like crazy. People would say I was head over heels in love, maybe I was, who knows? Clearly what we had wasn't love. If it was, then why did it end so suddenly?