Guardian core (Book 1 of: potentially many)

Dungeon Delver

emotional state- confused...perpetually

family- rather dull

finances- ah **** nah

Diagnostic complete

analysis complete

result:

ready to connect with server 1039024

-060-

I stared at the screen, blinking for a moment at the absurdity of it. Then I grew incredulous. "What? my face isn't that bad... is it? And what the heck are those ellipses for?" He gawked at the absurd, stupid, ridiculous words. What kind of-

"Incorrect- by this servers standards  you are actually on the lower end of the spectrum, sorry, I know humans often like being lied to in these situations so I shall give you an answer that will best suit your specific needs. It is alright. You are a handsome SOB that will get all the ladies- you go tiger."

I blinked. "Oh... AI? Are you here to help me not make an utter fool of myself while I work?" I ignored the direct insult and even worse attempt to lie. That was honestly just pitiful...

"Hello, I am Angel, your companion AI. I am here to assimilate you into the culture and bio rituals of the inhabitants of the server you are traveling to. I am version 1.8.7 meaning that I am the 187th version of the original A.N.G.E.L. database. one version is made for each pilot. by the way, I really can't help you, there is no way to make you not look like a fool, and you will be doing little to no work, that relative burden falls to me."

I blinked. "Oh... well... how do we do this the-" I cut off as a gut-wrenching feeling split my everything in half, and I screamed as a frantic all of text decorated my vision, ending in simple words. 

Error;

 server malfunction. 

status;

Critical. 

Emergency random body generation subroutine initiated;

complete.

conscience transfersion process initiated;

 Transfer  complete.

 Integrating system and mind;

 Complete.

 Adding survival bonus.

 Adding survival boost. 

Adding survival benefit.

 Adding rebirth feature.

 Complete.

Processing...

Download complete.

initiating IOS process;

complete

I screamed, then blinked, gasping as I looked around. I was in agonizing pain for an instant, hence the scream, but then... 

I looked at the tiny cave around me. I had no idea where or what I was, but I knew that something had gone wrong. Terribly, horribly wrong. I bit my lip- realizing I didn't have a lip as I did so- and looked at the mouth of the cave. It was nighttime, and I didn't even know what species I was... Was that an ocean??? I'd spawned at the base of a pair of cliffs next to the ocean... perfect... 

"Um... ANGEL? How do I... function?" He grimaced, worried. 

Analyzing current body and form.