Goodbye Carter

t e n

October 31st, 2014

"WHAT WAS THAT ABOUT?" Aiden asks as I finally get into Noah's Jeep.

"What do you mean?" I say, knowing very well what he was talking about.

"Why were you talking to- him for so long?" Aiden replies, very obviously repulsed by even Carter's name.

"I was just paying," I say with a reassuring smile, "and I just asked him how he was doing. I did used to be friends with him," I finish, hoping that Aiden would drop it.

You see, even though I hadn't told Aiden about Carter's crush on me, he had still always held some kind of resentment for him. I had never found out why, but from the moment he met him he absolutely hated the guy.

Aiden scoffs, "don't let him play all nice guy with you Kennedy, it's obviously all an act."

I sigh as I realize that both Aiden and Carter couldn't stand each other, and that wasn't going to change anytime soon.

"He's s good guy, Aiden. Maybe you two would be good friends if you gave him a chance," I suggest, knowing that Aiden wouldn't take it well.

Aiden looks angry at first, but then he visibly calms down. He reaches his arm to wrap around my shoulder while pulling me closer to him.

"Well you guys aren't even friends anymore, so I see no reason why I have to be civil with him," he's reassuring himself more so than me.

I roll my eyes, "I wish you would be nicer sometimes," I instantly regretted my words, even though they were true.

Aiden visibly stiffens. His arm around me becoming weak and slack. I feel his chest rise and fall in a staggered manner.

Shit. I inwardly curse.

Sometimes I wondered why I was such a fucking idiot.

Our silent fight was interrupted by the words of Noah, "hey George, we're here," he turns back to look at Georgia who's sitting on the other side of Aiden.

She was sound asleep. Her head was leaned up against the window as her arms were wrapped around her legs in a fetal position. She looked at ease. Like she was a little girl trying to protect herself from the world.

If only she wasn't half drunk.

"Georgia," Hannah says as she taps her arm lightly, "let's go deliver you to your parents." She says with a chuckle.

Noah laughs as Georgia stirs awake, I can't help the giggle escape from my mouth from her disheveled look.

"My mouth tastes like poo poo," Georgia says in a small voice.

"Poo poo?" Noah says with a stifle.

"Poo poo." She confirms.

"Alright, well let's get that poo poo mouth inside before your mother kills us," Hannah says as she proceeds to get out of the car.

"Kennedy?" Georgia says, her voice still as small as a three year olds, "if you don't want Carter anymore I'll take him," she says with a yawn.

I stiffen for a split second. Was she serious? Did she like him?

I shake my head to gather my thoughts before finally responding to Georgia. I feel Aiden's eyes burning holes in the back of my neck. He was wondering what my response would be.

I finally decide on a simple chuckle while trying my absolute hardest to act natural even though I couldn't swallow the lump in my throat.

"Yeah Kennedy," Aiden says, turning to meet my eyes with a harsh glare, "why don't you give him to Georgia since you two are such good friends."

I find it hard to look at Aiden after his comment. Even as Georgia giggles and leaves the car, even as we start driving to my house, even as he tries to intertwine his fingers with mine.

Aiden was a hard guy to truly know at first, and once you did, he was easy to figure out.

He could be sweet, he could be funny, and god he's always handsome... but he could be mean.

And I didn't like mean Aiden.

I check my phone to see the time. 1:00 a.m.

I was past curfew. Fuck.

"Noah, how much longer? My parents are gonna kill me." I say with a sigh, feeling the droopiness of my eyes, as tiredness washes over me.

"We'll be there in about five minutes Kennedy, don't worry, you can tell your parents it's my fault," Noah responds. Even though I can't see his face, I know he's smiling because that's just who Noah was. Always smiling, always laughing.

A minute passes before I feel warm fingers on my arm once again. I'm about to push them away before I hear a soft whisper in my ear.

"I'm sorry." Aiden says as he snuggles his head into my neck and takes a deep breath, making my skin tingle.

I don't answer and keeping looking out the window at the pitch black night passing us by.

I may have been being overdramatic, but I couldn't stand jealous boys. And I especially couldn't stand an overbearing boyfriend.

He snuggles deeper even as I turn my head away, "I can be a real dick sometimes," Aiden starts.

I scoff.

He takes this as a good sign and continues, "it's just because I love you so godamn much that I can't stand to see you around anyone else."

My heart stops as he says those three words, 'I love you'. We hadn't exchanged those words yet. This was new territory. A boy had never told me romantically that he loved me before.

He strokes my palm before turning it over to lace his fingers through mine. I don't stop him.

"I love you Kennedy Summers."

I finally meet his eyes, studying the darkness the night had overtaken from his light blue eyes.

Even as he held my gaze with a kind of vulnerability that I hadn't seen on him before, even though guilt washed through my chest, I knew I couldn't say it back yet.

I didn't understand how this always happened in the movies. It seemed that in the cliche rom coms, I love yous' we're always exchanged after some kind of big fight. I wasn't sure how that could ever actually happen in real life. I mean how can you be so mad at somebody and then express such raw emotion the next second?

There's a thin line between love and hate, I guess.

I opt to stall Aiden as I trace his jawline with my fingers and brush my thumb over the slight stubble that lined his chin. I see the disappointment in his eyes as he realizes that I wasn't going to say it back.

He starts to pull away, but I gently reach my hand to the back of his head before he can.

"Just because I didn't say it doesn't mean I don't, I'm just not ready yet," I whisper softly in his ear as I pull him closer to me.

He closes his eyes slightly and nods. Even though it's dark I can see the light waver from his blue eyes.

Guilt fills me up like liquid.

It was no secret that Aiden wasn't one to express his feelings regularly, and I just gave him even more of a reason to keep his emotions bottled in.

What have I done?