break my heart | e.c

I'm curious to live and learn so light me up and let me burn

When I looked behind me, there you were with terrified eyes and what I thought a heartbroken expression. In that time and place, I didn't know what to feel. I was embarrassed because just being caught red-handed was too much but it was you. You were the one that caught me. Thankfully for me, we were still fully clothed so you didn't really see anything. Thank God for skirts.

You wasted no time in yanking me by the arm and taking me to my room. Although my face was flushed, my mind was still in a daze that not even you were able to take me away from. You were raging with anger but instead of being scared I was growing rather excited. Why were you so worked up? Why did it matter to you so much? My heart was telling me that you were jealous, that you didn't want Richard to have me yet deep down where my thoughts were sober, I knew it was only discomfort. Me, your best friend, sneaking behind your back with your other best friend. I was out of my mind, according to you.

"Richard? Really, Micaela?! And doing it with him? How low have you gotten? You guys are just fucking for fun until he gets bored of you! I didn't think you would be so easy, have some respect for yourself."

"Look, Erick, I can do whatever the hell I want. News flash, you are not the boss of me so I don't have to please you. I do what I want because I feel like it and because I want to."

"Are you being serious right now, Micaela? Estas hablando en serio?"

Clearing my throat as my nervous tick, I sighed. "Mira, I know you don't like this because we went behind your back but -"

"It's not just that you went behind my back, I- I..." your voice faltered and I can't lie by saying that it didn't make my heart skip a beat. If the reason why you were hurt was that you wanted me then I'll give up everything I had with Richard.

"You what?" I whispered breathlessly, taking a step closer to you.

"I don't want you to get hurt. What if you start having feelings for him, Mica? Richard isn't looking for a relationship right now, I just don't want to see you heartbroken."

"Erick..." I hummed with a sad smile, accepting that you would never look at me with different eyes. "I promise you I won't catch feelings for Richard."

"Como lo sabes? Mica, feelings tend to come out of nowhere. I know this very well... they surprise you."

"I just know, cielo. What Richard and I have is strictly based on pleasure, that's all we want-"

"Enough," you shut me up. "I know what you're talking about but I'm still worried.

"Erick," I bitterly chuckled but you didn't catch on to it. "I promise you, I won't fall for Richard."

"But how are you so sure?"

"Because I love somebody else."

I said it without thinking, I just wanted you to shut up about it since I knew it caused you no harm. For just a second I wanted you to feel what I felt those past years when you never looked my way but it was no use, you would never like me that way.

"You love somebody else?" You repeated slowly as if trying to process it. "Who? Do I know them?"

Again, my heart was a step further than my mind as a "yes," slipped past my lips.

"Yes to both?"

"Yes to both," I restated with a confidence that I didn't know I had in me.

"Who?" You quickly asked after I finished my sentence.

"I can't tell you." I weakly responded feeling that confidence leave me.

"Why can't you? We're best friends, we tell each other everything."

"Just how you told me that you had a girlfriend?"

You didn't say anything and I was completely satisfied with that. It wasn't long enough before a knock interrupted us and gave me some relief.

"Hey, everything okay?" Richard asked with soft and knowing eyes.

The moment I said yes, you said no but I took no care.

"I gotta go, I'll see you tomorrow?"

Nodding along with a smile, I softly chuckled. "Of course."

I didn't expect it and I didn't know why he did it. He took a step closer and placed a passionate kiss on my lips, one that I knew that if you weren't there, I would've gotten lost in. His infamous smirk hypnotized me once he pulled away yet my instinct was to look back at you. And boy was I glad you did. If looks could kill, Richard would be six feet below ground.

Once the dark-skinned boy left, you shook your head and groaned. "I can't believe this."

"Erick, it's not a big deal-"

"Not a big deal," you sarcastically muttered under your breath, looking at me with incredulous eyes. "It is a big deal! Richard is fucking my best friend!"

"Por el amor se Dios, Erick. Can you stop with that-"

"It's like he's fucking my sister and I hate it!"

His sister. Not even a friend, a sister. This is a dead end.

"I'm leaving, I don't want to see you right now."

Finally defeated by his words, I mumbled, "whatever Erick. Do what you want, I could care less at this point."

"Don't you get mad at me now. This is all on you!"

"I am getting mad because you keep talking about it! Just drop it!"

"I can't! You don't understand, Micaela."

"You just said it yourself," I scornfully retorted. "It's like Richard is with your sister. You know how Richard is and no brother wants a guy like that, huh?"

"Exactly, that's right."

"And that's what I am, family."

Your eyes were burning holes in my head but I didn't want to look at you. I knew I would cry if I did.

"You are," you softly said. "You're family to me."

I didn't say anything, I couldn't risk having my voice break and you questioning.

"Will you please stop doing this with Richard? Please?"

You knew I always did what you asked for. It's like you knew that I loved you unconditionally and would do anything just so see you pleased. Believe me, I was going to yet something in me, perhaps the rebel in me, went against it. All you had done was hurt me, push me to the side, and blind yourself. You barely made time for me now, why should I do this for you? Why should I let go of something that was taking you out of my mind?

"No," I stated firmly. "I won't."

I shut my eyes, not wanting to see your eyes nor you leaving. I was testing you, I wanted to see what you would do. How much did this bother you? Or did it not at all? Was it all a show? A role?

I know I'm obvious with my emotions, at least that's what Richard told me. Were you able to see them as well? If you did, you sure did love to watch me burn.