Before It's Too Late | Yoonmin

Chapter 16

"I'll be waiting here the entire time, okay? You take as much time as you need, hyung." Jungkook tells me with a small smile. I merely nod my head, not returning the smile as I get out of the car. Taking a deep breath as I stare up at the hospital building momentarily, I bite my lip nervously and force myself to head towards the front doors. Jungkook already told me where his room was, so thankfully I don't have to speak to the receptionist when I get inside.

Keeping my gaze on the floor, I only glance up when I need to figure out the next way to turn. It takes me a few minutes before I finally get there, about five minutes before I manage to find his room. Though, I freeze in front of the closed door, more nervous than ever now. I really don't know that I'm ready to see him, as bad as it sounds. I'm terrified and scared, not wanting to feel more guilty and heartbroken than I already do.

Though, knowing I probably owe it to him, I sigh softly and gently take hold of the door handle, tears already forming in my eyes. Pushing the door open, I inhale sharply, trying hard not to sob already as I slowly enter the hospital room. Closing the door softly behind me, I reluctantly enter the room further, soon coming into view of the bed where his pale scarred body lays. Just the sight of him laying in the bed unconscious is enough to get hot tears streaming down my cheeks faster than what I can keep up with, giving up on trying to wipe them away as I walk over to the side of his bed and taking a seat on the chair right beside of it.

They've got a blanket laid over the lower half of his body, a hospital gown covering his upper half to leave majority of his arms bare.

"Oh, hyung. Nobody even knows how to take proper care of you after all these years, do they?" I murmur weakly from the coldness of the room. Standing back up, I go over to the thermostat on the wall, turning the heat up for him, knowing how he hates being cold and is generally cold to begin with.

Sitting back down on the chair beside his bed, I nervously reach out and wrap my hand around his limp one. Though, no reaction from him and the sight of the faded burns on his pale skin is enough to have me sobbing.

Letting my head fall, I rest my forehead on our hands, sobbing harder than I think I have from the very beginning. I grip his hand tightly in mine, lacing our fingers together in a desperate attempt to find him waking up for me.

"I'm so sorry, Yoongi. I'm so fucking sorry. Holy shit, hyung, I can't do this without you. I need you so badly. I've been a goddamn wreck without you. I'm so sorry I wasn't better for you, I'm so fucking sorry I couldn't save you. I'm so sorry, Yoongi." I cry loudly, feeling my entire body shaking as I sob. I shake my head against our laced hands, wishing I could bring him back so damn badly.

"I miss you so much, hyung. I... Fuck, I'm so sorry." I whisper, trying to calm myself down, knowing all of this sobbing isn't going to do either of us any good.

"Nothing's been the same without you, Yoongi. I don't know what to do without you. I-I began writing, hyung. I... I actually have enough to make my own mixtape like you. I... I don't think I have enough of what it takes like you though. I don't think I'd be able to release any of it without your consent though. Without your approval." I mumble quietly, letting my eyes fall shut as I try to be strong for him and give him an update of what happened, pretending that he could possibly be hearing me right now.

"Hyung, I... Fuck, I need you back, Yoongi. I need you back so badly. I know you said I was strong and that you wanted me to continue being strong, but I can't do this without you. I talked to army yesterday, scolded them about not giving your work and you more love and attention and affection like you've always hoped for. I've tried writing out my feelings and thoughts. I can't do it though. Nothing's the same without you, hyung. I... I need you. Shit, Yoongi, there's so much that I've never told you and I wish so badly that I could tell you all of it. I'm not strong enough though. I... Goddamn it, Yoongi... I never even got to tell you that I love you too." I whimper quietly.

My eyes widen fearfully though, hearing the loud sound of the heart monitor. Lifting my head up in fear, my lips fall slack as I watch the heart monitor flatline.