Flight of the Maybug (Script)

ACT 2

Toby dresses the still tender wound.

WILHELM: (Regaining some strength) What plan?

TOBY: You still not told him?!

HARTLEY: I haven't had the chance!

TOBY: Tell him now.

HARTLEY: I will tell him when I please thank you very much!

TOBY: It's been organised for tomorrow!

HARTLEY: Eh now?!

TOBY: The brownie wrangle, Captain's organised for Willie to be meeting that Fritz fella tomorrow like!

Despite the tremendous pain, Wilhelm instantly latches on to the mention of Fritz.

WILHELM: Fritz?

TOBY: Aye, Fritz.

WILHELM: Fritz who?

TOBY: What do you mean Fritz who?! Your Fritz, fella you surrendered with like.

Wilhelm is lost for words, anger seething from every fibre in his body.

WILHELM: But you don't know Fritz...

TOBY: Course we do!

HARTLEY: Toby that's enough.

WILHELM: You knew?

HARTLEY: Aye.

WILHELM: (Screaming) You knew?!

Wilhelm lunges towards Lieutenant Hartley as best he can. However, his still fresh wound forces him to recoil as he writhes and screams in pain.

TOBY: I don't think he's going to be able to go anywhere tomorrow like this.

HARTLEY: If Cap'n says he's goin', he's goin'. Now leave us.

TOBY: Mister Hartley he's still-

HARTLEY: I said leave us! That's an order.

Reluctantly, Toby obeys.

TOBY: Sir.

Toby exits.

HARTLEY: Now, I is sensing a bit of bad blood in the air, mainly yours.

Lieutenant Hartley awaits a laugh that never arrives.

HARTLEY: Now's not the time, understood. Even so, I don't wanna be dwellin' on what potentially was, or wasn't said. What I did, I did for good reason. We is to let bygones be bygones, aye?

Wilhelm doesn't answer, prompting Lieutenant Hartley to walk over and deliberately tread on his injured toe.

HARTLEY: Aye?!

WILHELM: (Howling) Yes!

Content, Lieutenant Hartley lifts his foot and sits back down.

HARTLEY: The plan be like this; in Germany, had you the phrase "quid pro quo"?

WILHELM: (Through gritted teeth) I know what it means.

HARTLEY: Good. Now be you aware what a brownie point is? It be like a big thumbs up, a favourable mark on your persona as it were. Well, as it turns out, when them Soviets entered your Germany, they seemed to make it their prerogative to go out their way to be pillagin', rapin' and murderin' anythin' that they came across. Which normally, is fine, it happens, you move on. Speakin of, I did look into Dresden for you lad, and turns out what you heard was true, firebombed it to ash we did, I highly doubt your family still be alive. But I be digressin', what was I- Soviets, yes. Anywho, they was rapin', pilliagin' and murderin' which normally, like I said, is fine. However, it turns out international community be changin', some bright spark, or sparks, decided that it no longer be acceptable to be causin' havoc and destruction anywhere you go, regardless of who you is or who you is doin' it to. Now I feel for the poor Soviets I do, how was they supposed to know?! Regardless, 'tis a PR ball-buster they find themselves in right now. So, how do you try and win back the favour of the international community? Brownie points! And them brownie points come from hangin' Nazis, specifically, Nazis that were workin' them camps in the East like. Only problem, is that most of them Nazis either fled in this direction, or completely fucked off out of Europe altogether, so they don't have any. Whereas the problem for us, is that all them clever Germans that were doin' that clever science mumbo-jumbo, well they is stuck on the Russian side. So, we is come to an arrangement, we wrangle them Nazis on our side and send them to Soviets to be used for brownie points. And in return, they give us all them clever fellas who they wouldn't know what to do with in any case! Does that make sense?