Possessed

2. Slipping, Slipping, Gone

I am slipping
like a bar of soap
with each snap
of this rope
clutching onto
what little hope
I have left
just to cope

To a barren existence
I am screamin'
Inside the belly
of this demon
The simple act
of breathin'
Leaves my lungs
bruised and beaten

The cold dark mass
that is my soul
holds hostage
and won't let go
words
I never told
unfiltered
out of control

Days or weeks
Months or years
how long
have I been here
suspended
in this atmosphere
on this
psychological frontier

This smog
inside my head
has me disoriented
damn near dead
slipping further
into dread
hanging on
by a thread

I am falling
into eternity
fucked over
by gravity
abandoned
by society
so much
for humanity

August 2022

Writer's Note:

Someone on Facebook asked me to clarify the last three stanzas and how they relate to the theme and title of the poem. I decided I would include the explanation here as a Writer's Note. So here it is.

The title, as you can see, is "Slipping, Slipping, Gone". The original title was "Hanging On By A Thread", which I changed since I rearranged the stanzas and "hanging on by a thread" is no longer the last two lines in the poem. I wanted the stanzas to relate to the phrase "hanging by a thread" both literally (in a sense) and figuratively. "Slipping, Slipping, Gone" is a different way of saying "hanging by a thread" because think of yourself hanging by a rope and your hands are slipping and you're still hanging but you're slipping and you're gone if you let go.

Regarding the last three stanzas:

The 4th stanza is pondering how long they've been "hanging" there (in other words, how long they've been in that mental state). The word "frontier" is usually portrayed as a lonely piece of land, barren, unsettled, so implying they feel alone in this state of mental illness.

The 5th stanza is referring to mental illness itself, portraying the mental illness as smog in the person's head because you can't see clearly in smog and smog can be hazardous to one's health (worse than fog). Mental illness can cause a person to not think clearly and can be hazardous to one's health or life if one doesn't seek or receive help (resulting in suicide or self harm). That entire stanza is about not thinking clearly, being near suicidal, getting worse and barely hanging on but still hanging on.

The 6th stanza is the person having let go, falling from the "rope" they were hanging onto, but they're falling and they keep falling as if falling into an abyss, because gravity (their mind, mental state) has let them down, and no one helped them so they lost faith in society and humanity.
Remember the lines:
"I am screamin'
inside the belly
of this demon"?
Screaming: a cry for help.
The demon: mental illness.

I hope this explanation was helpful.