☯ Darling ☯

All this had happened to us in the three months after our experience.

He wanted to meet up with me, he said as strange as it was, he felt my presence might be therapeutic to him. I agreed, in hope his would be the case.

We met up at a small cafe and I didn't realise how much it missed him until I saw his face light up when I walked over. We awkwardly hugged which made me sigh with relief. I sat down and we discussed topics that had been on our minds.

We continued these meets once every week at the same place. And it was very therapeutic. He had tried to call me every Sunday as well, we had become quite accustom to each other voices.

Eventually the days I didn't see or hear from him made me feel sick. I was getting horrible anxiety and the nightmares were slowly drifting back. At one of our meets, I asked if we could call on a daily basis and he didn't even hesitate to agree.

There wasn't even anything to talk about on the phone, but just knowing he was on the other end of the phone gave me some sense of security. The nightmares stopped.

One night he asked me to stay at his house one night. We'd watch a movie, have a couple of beers and just overall relax. I told him it sounded perfect.

So on that Friday, I went to his house. I was nervous and I didn't even know why. He was my best friend, and he understood me better than anyone else in the world. But standing outside his front door, my raven hair a mess, my button up shirt undone to reveal a white tee, my palms began to sweat. Yet when he opened the door and our eyes connected, my insecurities melted away and he made me feel safe.

Instead of watching the movie I found myself watching him. He didn't notice the way I scanned him, the way I looked over his matted blond hair or his chubby cheeks, the way I stared at him as he chuckled or smiled widely at a joke.

After the movie we played a bit of trivia to waste time and I adored the way he was so competitive, I almost regretted kicking his ass.

It was getting late so he set me up on the couch, turning the lights off. Just as he was leaving for his bedroom, I called out his name and he snapped his head back.

'Yeah?'

I gulped, I wasn't sure what I was going to say. I felt I was hiding something from him that i didn't even understand.

'Goodnight' I wanted to hit myself.

'Goodnight, Adam' He sighed and left the room.

Blood, so much blood. I remembered the thrusting of the ceramic block and the force against his beaten face. The blood on my hands grew and suddenly I was screaming. I had a nightmare, the worst one yet and I was yelping loudly into the night. I was awoken by two hands violently shaking me and my eyes opened to his worried face.

'Adam! Adam, please' Lawrence cried. I grabbed hold of one of his hands, sitting up slightly. 'Oh, thank god. You had me so worried'

'Hold me'

His arms dug under my back and he lifted me up from the couch. My arms flung around his neck as he carried me out of the room. He took me into his bedroom, lying me down on the mattress. I began silently sobbing as he slid in behind me, cuddling me and just holding me tightly.

That was the night I realised I had fallen in love with him. That was the night I realised he had saved me from the bathroom.

[Then looking upwards

I strain my eyes and try

To tell the difference between shooting stars and satellites

From the passenger seat as you are driving me home