''av''..I gulped .. ''Avni'' He looked at me with furrowed eyebrows and anger on his face.
''Your parents name'' I gulped again & looked at him nervously.''I don't have p...parents'' shaking my head in No.He looked at me with a blank face again.He sighed heavily & hurriedly filled up his papers. ''Look miss Avni..whatever the problem you are going through.Sucide is not a solution.You looks like from well cultured women and this act doesn't suit a woman like you.'' he kept telling me the and I kept listening to his words nervously.Oh god !I was still sobbing. ''I have reported your case.Now sign here .This is a assurity that you will never perform such acts again in any private or public property.For now you are free from all charges.Now go home & take care of yourself.''
Home ! I don't have any. but I didn't tell anything to him.I looked down and nodded yes.After the lady police realising my arm ,I walked out from the hotel building asap.The rains had stopped now.
I kept walking on the road ,not knowing where I was heading.I just kept walking and walking.I just wanted to reach at the end.The end of this world.I kept walking wherever my legs were taking me. I stopped suddenly when I a big sign board ''STOP ! CAUTION ! this road ends here'' & there was a big tall compound .I sighed,turned .The street lights were off.Probably because of the heavy rains.I grabbed out my mobile & turned on the flashlight.I was surrounded by small trees of flowers.My nostrils were filled up by the amazing smell of those flowers.I slowly walked focusing the flashlight on the floor.Suddenly my flashlight fell on the church sign in front of me.I read each & every word.
God is good all the time pslam 100:5
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(Church near Avni's home)
Anger filled inside me.Those words hurts me, my fist automatically clenched in anger.I looked at the church with hatred,my eyes were still teary & it's stains spreads all over my face.I walked inside the church. The church was dark ,probably There was no sign of any person inside.I walked ahead near to the Lord Jesus.I picked up a candle & match box.I lit up the candle and kept in front of the him.That small candles light spread on my face. ''Can you see me now ?I don't think you can ! Because there is already so much darkness spread in the world.Once sister Maria said ,You removes the darkness from the world.But I don't think so it's true.The world you created it,you forgot to remove the darkness.You let darkness win over and over again !I read the sign outside! God is good all the time !What a lie! '' I hiccupped a sob. ''Why you are doing this to me! You bring me in this world and left me alone.I never experienced the love and happiness of being with my mom and dad.But I never complained about it to you.I faced so much obstacles when I raised myself alone but still I kept faith on you.Only one friend I had but she also betrayed me.still..'' I hiccupped a sob again. ''Still I never complained about it to you.When I started earning well with all my hardwork .I only wanted one thing ..Respect ! But ..''I wiped my tears & angrily looked at him.''Yyyyou..never let that happen too'' ''and when I Ffinally...ffffffffinally fell in love with someone and started experiencing a good life.Yyyyyoouu!''I pointed at him.Yes I will point on him.''Yyyou took my love away from me.You took my job away from me.Now..'' ''Now I don't even left money to pay rent ! Thanks to you ! I'm homeless now!You took that away evvverything from me! Evvvverything ! I wanted to die, but Yyyyoouu! You didn't even let me die ! ''I clapped in front of him.''You didn't even let me die ! Congratulations For saving a waste life ! What else has been remained that you still want to take away from me? hun ? My dignity ? My soul ? My character ? My self respect ? You already took everything ! Then why didn't you let me just die ! why didn't you...let me.....just die..'' I sobbed loudly. ''But Fine! If you don't want to stay with me then fffffine ! Because from now on I will not able to trust you & keep faith on you again.I just can't ! I am greatfull for all the sorrows you gave me ! I don't want anymore ! So Dear Supreme Lord Jesus '' I clenched my fingers on the locket I was wearing.When I was 2 years old,Sister Mariya tied this locket around my neck.She always used to say that it's a sign of Lord Jesus is being with you so never ever lose it ! I clenched tightly over that locket & pulled it in a force. ''I theist Avni breaks all ties with you & becomes atheist from now onwards !'' and I threw it towards him.In the dim light of that candle ,I didn't care to look at where it fell.I didn't prayed ,I didn't felt anything.I just walked out from the Church carrying all hatred in my heart !
