Just words

Its not love

I wish that he didn't have a girlfriend, I wish that he wasn't constantly smiling charmingly at me to stir my emotions, I wish he wasn't always lying to me, I wish I could just tell him how I truly feel, I wish he didn't treat me like his other friends one time and then flirt with me the next, I wish I could stop wishing. But this isn't love.

I'm not obsessive, I'm observant. I am not contantly looking for cute little things to freak out over. It's that you are constantly doing cute little things that I just so happen to notice. You are always doing cute things that make me excessively happy on the inside. It's the cute things like when you grin when you talk, or when you look directly at me when you make a joke, or when you play basketball and you jump too high, or when you are called out to read during class and you stutter, or when you are playing with the guys and get agressive, or you when you play with your hair, or when you mess up and you have clever combacks, or when you purposely twist your words to confuse people, or when you cover your face with your jacket when you laugh, or when you get shy and turn around when i call out a cute behavior. But this isn't love.

Remember I dont love you, but this is greater than a crush. This is greater than thinking you are cute. This is greater than wanting to be around you. This is greater than wanting to cuddle in your warm hugs. This is greater than wanting to hold hands or laugh together while walking. This is something greater than great. Just remember it's not love.

I just want you to understand how much courage it takes to talk to you, how much effort it takes to walk to you, how much feelings it takes to reach out to you even though your too far, how much my heart beats when you walk past, how smart I have to act so you can look my way, how much anxiety I get when I am on stage knowing you will be there watching me, how jealous I get when you start talking about your girlfriend. I just want you to understand that I like you beyond words can describe. But this isn't love

Or maybe, just maybe I do love you.