Vacant Hearts [UNDER CONSTRUCTION]

Chapter 29 | This Skin Don't Feel like Home

      "I appreciate his friendship, too," I told her honestly, even if the word "friend" woke the nerves in my stomach.

      Shut it down, Isa, I mentally scolded myself.

     "Well, nice chat," Emelia said after a few moments, clasping her hands and shifting away from the wall. "I better go and check on Mathilda. There's a high chance she's started a food fight with Julian or something equally ridiculous."

      I forced out a laugh despite the fact that I wanted to stab myself with a blunt knife. She turned to head back to the dining room and I made my way into the bathroom, closing the door behind me. I exhaled shakily, the sound echoing through the small room, and tugged a hand through my hair.

      Things were getting far too complicated and that truly frightened me. I thought of Julian as more than a friend, something I never, ever thought would happen. The Seduction Game was supposed to be just that – a game. It definitely didn't feel like that to me anymore, but there was a high chance Julian didn't feel the same way.

      After I finished in the bathroom, I took a deep breath and tried to lower my heart rate down to the normal rate. The last thing I needed to do right now was spiral out of control. So, I did what I did best – I shoved everything into one area and locked it all away.

      Control. I need to get my control back otherwise I might not survive.

      I returned to the dining room and sat back down next to Julian. We all finished our food, making pleasant conversation as we went. After that, Julian stood to clear the table. I followed suit and carried the dishes back into the kitchen. Lillian deserved a break after all the hard work she'd done.

      "Thank you for lunch. It was the best thing I've ever had," I told Lillian honestly after everything was cleared away.

      "It was my pleasure. Thank you for coming," she replied warmly, gently touching my arm.

     Julian emerged from the kitchen and headed over to us. "You ready to go?" he said to me.

      I nodded. The sooner I got away from him, the better.

      Julian wrapped his arms around his mom and pressed a kiss to her cheek. "I'll be back a bit later."

      After Julian released her, Lillian surprised me by giving me a hug. I stiffened in her arms, not sure what to do. My own mom never hugged me so it felt strange; unnatural. Lillian let me go after a few moments and stepped back.

      She fixed me with a stern stare. "Sweetheart, what your mom did the other night was not okay. I hope you know that."

      I stilled, feeling my pulse increase. My mouth dried up and I couldn't think of a single response.

      Lillian continued. "Julian told me not to say anything to you, but you seem like such a lovely young woman that it breaks my heart to think you're being treated poorly at home. I just want you to know that you're always welcome here and that you are safe whenever you're in this house."

      Julian's gaze snapped to me, an uncomfortable expression on his face. It most likely mirrored my own.

      If there was ever a time for the ground to decide to swallow me whole, now was it. This was the last conversation I wanted to have, even if Lillian was being kind. Even if she just wanted to help.

      I cleared my throat and subtly wiped my sweaty palms on my jeans. "Than you. That-that means a lot."

      Julian and I left shortly after that. Thoughts were zooming through my head at a million miles an hour and it felt as though my lungs were refusing to fill with air. Getting into the car was a blur. Driving out of Julian's neighbourhood was a blur. Everything was blurring by and I couldn't seem to slow it down.