Rae, i wrote your three-lettered name in my journal tonight; the nicest i've written a name.
i dial your number at 2 in the morning, your "hello?" rings in my ears and i am afraid i am already latching onto the caramel in your voice.
"it's the weird guy you met by the lake. i know this is a bad time but-"
"it's a lovely time, Yixing. please accompany me through the night."
you talk of how this place is nothing but a reminder that cutting the cord is only steps away,
how everyone says "i'll be there for you" when what they really mean is "i'll keep you company till i grow out of you."
you talk of how you are a breathing paradox, how you dare not be sure of anything because sureness is terrifying at times.
"it's all funny, really. we met with fireworks and an ocean of blue, and it terrifies me how sure i am of wanting to know you."
the silence that follows is overthrown by the somersaults my heart is making.
"Rae?"
"yes, Yixing?"
"would you like to run away with me?"
"at all costs."
"but you do not know me, i could be a murderer."
"then i'd die in the hands of someone who understands me better than the world pretends to."
thump. thump. thump.
- 01. 01. 19.
i met a girl.
Rae.
i have never been so afraid of a girl.
when she speaks, i picture the one hundred and one chrysanthemums in my grandmother's garden,
her voice rain to the drought in the corner of my heart,
her laugh a redemption for the ninety-nine sunsets i have missed in my lifetime,
her stories a melody i wish to sway along to for the rest of my life.
i have never been so fond of a girl.
YOU ARE READING
amaranthine // zhang yixing
Poetry"amaranthine [am-uh-ran-thin] eternal and unchanging; everlasting." a story of two beings caught up in clichés and ill-fated destinies. • i dedicate this book to my best friend, the only one keeping me alive. • this is for you. •
