I'm Not The Only One

[I Know I'm Not The Only One]

~You and me we made a vow
For better or for worse~

New still remembered the first time they exchanged their love to each other. He still remembered how Tay's smile was so genuine and his eyes sparkling out of joy. He himself was no different than Tay. His cheeks flushed red and looking at Tay with adoring eyes. Yes, he still remembered all of it.

~ I can't believe you let me down
But the proof is in the way it hurts~

He didn't know when but he noticed the spark fading away of Tay's eyes slowly. Before, every time those eyes looked at him, he saw nothing but love in them. He could feel every single love coming from those eyes. Slowly those sparks faded and now...
Tay was not even looking at him anymore...

~For months on end I've had my doubts
Denying every tear~

He was slowly noticing the decrease of them spending time together. He noticed how every time he wanted to hang out, Tay found excuses and whenever he didn't, he was always leaving first. But New just pushed his thoughts away. Maybe he was tired, maybe he had something to do, maybe...
Maybe he just wanted to be alone...

~ I wish this would be over now
But I know that I still need you here~

The excuses New first tried to find, slowly just went away. But the first time he stopped having imaginary excuses, was when he first broke down in tears. It was not because he finally realized what was going on. No, he knew that already. The only reason he broke down was because even now, after knowing and accepting everything, he still couldn't imagine a life without Tay.

~ You say I'm crazy
'Cause you don't think I know what you've done~

When he builded up his courage one day to ask and know everything from him, Tay denied everything and told him that those thoughts were stupid. They fought that day. It was not like their usual bickering. For the first time New felt like he was actually fighting with him. Even in their usually fights New was always smiling. But now he was just angry and frustrated.
...And he hated every single second of it.

~But when you call me baby
I know I'm not the only one~

The next day Tay acted like nothing happened between them. He tried to call New sweet nothings like he did in the past but New knew even from his voice, that this was all fake.

~You've been so unavailable
Now sadly I know why~

Their hang outs was already decreased. It was already a long time ago when New noticed that. But now, even when they were living at the same house, they barely saw each other. Tay waking up and going out before New, coming home after New was asleep... These were now their usual thing. Much more different than what they did in the past.

~Your heart is unobtainable
Even though you don't share mine~

New tried many things to get the old Tay back. He even did things he never thought he would. But if it meant to get the old Tay back, he thought it was worth it. There was even one time he tried talking to other people. Hoping it would make him forget Tay for at least a second. But whenever Tay found out, he would get angry. He would beg New again and again not to do what he did. But it was really cruel when he would say those words while still having those marks on his neck and the odor of someone else's.

~You say I'm crazy
'Cause you don't think I know what you've done~

At some point New was just numb. Numb to how it felt like to be loved. Numb to how it was being happy. The only thing he still could feel was this pain in his heart he couldn't describe.

~But when you call me baby
I know I'm not the only one~

He hated how all of this was turning into something he never imagined in the past. He would always dream about how happy they would be having each other for the rest of their lives. That's what they would say to each other in the beginning too. Until one broke his promise.