Confessions.

our last night.

I could feel my heart beat. Every single pounding clash in my chest. Not through my ears, that was occupied by the utterly dreaded silence whispering through the air. My whole body was frozen still with minor tingles of shakes isolating every cell of my body. The under of my eyes were packed with shopping bags so heavy you would've thought there was a sale or something.. except the only sale I felt was 80% of my heart being mutilated into pieces. Looking down at the dusted concrete, a million thoughts were crawling in the deeper depths of my mind. What was he going to say? Would he really fight for this?

Lifting up my head delicately from the floor, I allowed myself to focus on him, his face, analysing every bitter detail. I fixed my eyes on his, which were darting back and forth, waiting to attack. They glistened in the moonlight, unravelling his hidden secrets. However, when I gazed vigorously into his eyes, I could not see the person I so blissfully cherished and cared for. That person was gone.

[Confessions can be difficult at times, whether it's the guilt in our hearts or the love in our eyes - but i can assure you it was not of guilt this time.]

And just for one second, one, I sneaked away from this gateway of hell and returned to that eumoirous evening. Flashbacks of swirling pink twirled in my thoughts as I could exquisitely picture the aesthetic imagery of the cotton candy skies matching my pink, plump cheeks. Though his presence was not even there with me, the same unknown feeling occurred - new, exciting, powerful. Not even the blazing sun of a summers day could beat the warmth of my heart, As I could feel the striking speed of of it, with the biggest grin upon my face.

Suddenly, the thumping heartbeat of happiness returned to the drumming of tension , as I returned to my current surroundings. Was he about to end this all? There was a long silence. Intense. My tired eyes were burning with fury as my heart finally fell silent, allowing me to listen to my surroundings, though I wish I hadn't. "Do you want to be with her?"
In reply, his voice, in such hurtful words yet in such a beautiful soft tone spoke "I can't say it." I knew it was coming. Torment nerve stung my cells. I could see it within his tired eyes, how exhausted he is of fighting for something that's worth fighting for, but not worth keeping. I could see the glistening teared up eyes that read that he didn't love me anymore. And those words rolled of his tongue so smoothly that I almost didn't feel any pain amongst his words. I mean, that soothing voice has endured me with happiness for so long that when he used that same tone to declare our ending, I initially don't even realize he was delivering bad news. "No."

[Confessions can be difficult at times, but I can assure you his was full of guilt and love at the same time.]