The Idiot Captain--Kamui x Reader (Gintama)

Chapter 1

(F/N) groaned. There was Kamui, sitting on her bed as if he owned the place, and at this point, he practically did. The yato man had become a constant annoying fixture in her life since she'd joined the Harusame. She didn't know why exactly he was so obsessed with her, but she could guess it had something to do with the night he'd watched her kill an entire fleet of pirates without breaking a sweat.

"What're you doing here, Kamui-san?" she asked, running a hand through her hair.

"You've got an assignment, right?" he asked, leaning forward.

(F/N) didn't want to know how he knew that.

She tried to shoo him off her bed, but he didn't budge. She sighed, and sprawled herself over the bed with no regard for his presence. This, unfortunately, seemed to please him.

"I do have an assignment," she grumbled, reaching over him to grab a magazine from her bedside table. "I've got to off some political official. Admiral Asshole wants him dead because--I don't know, money or something. Why?"

"Can I come?"

She stared at him for a moment.

"Why?"

"I want to see which one of us can kill more!" he replied, a permanent smile plastered on his face. "Come on! It'll be fun!"

(F/N) sighed, flipping through the magazine. "You do realize this is an assassination mission, right? As in, off the guy the Boss hates, and do not under any circumstances kill more than necessary?"

"Oh, it's that kind of job, is it?" He thought for a moment, and shrugged. "Well, it'll still be fun. I like the way (F/N)-chan kills. When's the big day?"

"The target is going to be giving a speech in a week. The Boss says he wants me to make a statement, so—" She hesitated. "Why am I telling you this? You're staying here where you can't ruin anything, and that's final!"

She slapped him in the face with the magazine, and stormed out.

In spite of the way she acted, (F/N) genuinely liked Kamui, and in spite of herself, she found him attractive. There was one issue, however.

(F/N) had struggled her whole life. When she looked at Kamui, she saw someone who had everything she didn't. Whereas Kamui had a longtime friend in Abuto, the only companion she had was a sociopathic yato stalker. While Kamui was born with strength as a yato, (F/N) had struggled for years to get anywhere near his level.

Due to these feelings, (F/N) had decided to deny him the only thing she could—her heart.

~o0o~

"(F/N)-chan!"

"You're not going."

"(F/N)-chan!"

"Stop following me!"

"(F/N)-chan!"

"This is the girl's bathroom, you know!"

Conversations like those became common to hear around Harusame Headquarters. Once the assassination date came, (F/N) wasn't sure she even had the energy to pull it off. Still, she put on her gear, and headed to her ship. On the way there, she ran into a not-so-unexpected acquaintance—Abuto.

"Hey," she said, waving to him with a smile, "if it isn't Kamui-san's babysitter."

"I'm not his babysitter," Abuto grumbled.