Sometimes i wake up and i look in the mirror and i think "your so ugly." It tell myself "no one wants you. Why do you keep putting yourself in a possition to love someone and then you get your heart broken?" And it hurts. That fact that i'm being honest with myself,Hurts. It even aches at times i just cant help thinking over and over again "you suck" and its hard to not say to myself that i do because I kinda do. i'm failing half my classes. I cant keep or even get into a healthy relationship where I'm actually happy. I cant do anything right at all. And my life is really fucking hard enough as it is and adding the fact that i've had to go through it all alone hurts. I've been so down and depressed over the years that i'm finding it to be a rare thing for me actually feel truly happy with anyone.
It really sucks that i always feel so alone. And sometimes in a room full of people I feel like theres no one there but me, just dying in a dark corner or drowning while everyone else is floating and I'm just stuck here in an empty realm. I feel like I'm crawling in my skin or like I'm wearing an uncomfortable wool coat that i cant take off or like every step I take I'm walking on broken shards of glass that once were part of the open window of dreams that used to fill my mind at night. And my demons are just attacking me like everything I do is just attracting more to me and i cant sleep. And it hurts.
YOU ARE READING
it hurts.
Randomthis is about battling depression and feeling alone. Its mostly a rant but I feel like others might be able to relate. I might also put in some things that have helped me over the years to get through the tough shit
