Oceans

Take me away

I guess this is it. This is what my life has lead to. I stand at the edge of the ocean the water laped at my feet. The sand was slowly diapering from beneath my feet. Thunder rolled in the sky above me as gray clouds moved slowly into the sky above me. This was the time, I started taking off my clothes revealing my bathing suit beneath it. I looked up feeling a rain drop land on my forehead, I smiled. I looked back out to the water, it was clam. They always say that there was a calm before the storm, I guess they were right.  I slowly walked feeling the water rising on my legs. I could see and feel the rain drops coming down more and more.  I took one last deep breath before continuing into the water.  There was a rumble of thunder and a very brief flash in the sky the water was getting rougher by the second but I persisted further. By the time the water had eventually reached by armpits I turned around towards the land. The people that had once loved me, The home that was once loving, the place I once felt like I belonged in. The waves were getting bigger and bigger by the minute, closing my eyes and taking a deep breath in I layed back and let the waves take me away and take me where they wanted, I just floated there. I could feel the rain drops on my face as the ocean waves drifted me away from the land.

I had closed my eyes for a bit floating at the surface of the water. I could feel the waves tug and drag my body waves were coming in stronger, I could hear them, I felt the little swell then moments later there would be a big splash farther away from me. I stopped floating and tread water. The sky was a dark gray and the sun was starting to go down, the rain persisted but the thunder had long since left. 

You now what the worst thing is about the ocean  is, is that when your arms and legs get tired there is not side or railing to swim to. The waves had pushed me so far I could barely see the sandy beach I had left from anymore. After treading water and floating for so long, after waiting for so long for this moment, after everything I had planned and wished for, I wanted to take it all back. I wanted to go back to the land, back to my home , back to my friends and family and tell them that I was sorry. Sorry for trying to push them away, sorry for trying to run from everything, sorry for trying to end it all. But when your out in the middle of the ocean  and your tired and your arms can barely keep you afloat anymore there really isn't much that you can do but try to swim. Try your hardest to go back.  That exactly what I did, I swam as far as I could but the waves and the undertow kept pulling me back. I started to cry the tears mixing with salt water. I couldn't hold my self up anymore. My arms ave out and I went under. I gasped for breath and all I got was a mouth full of salt water that made me cough which resulted in me ingesting more water into my lungs. I gathered all the strength that I had left in my arms and legs and tried to pull myself back up to the surface. I reached the surface, It was cold. The rain was coming down harder than it had been a while ago. The waves were picking up and trying to stay afloat was getting so painful gasping for breath as a wave pulled me under . the water was filling my lungs and it was starting to go dark. I could feel the water toss me around pulling me under and throwing me every which way. The sand pelted and scratched my skin, I tried to gasp for breath but all I got was water. Things were going black quickly as I slowly descended into the black abiss. The further down I sunk the colder it got and the more comforting it felt. The water felt like a hug it may have been cold but the more i stayed down the more like a warm hug it felt like. Things went black and eventually I went to sleep. 

I guess I got my wish didn't I. I got away from everything. I wont ever have to feel belittled by anyone, feel unloved by anyone, or ever feel sad again. That made me happy. I continued to sink to the bottom my ears popping under the pressure and I smiled. I felt like I could breath again and be happy for what felt like years. It was dark now and I closed my eyes I could now finally feel happy.

(( Holy moly that was some deep stuff. I got inspiration to write this little excerpt from a song that I like called oceans. I decided to leave the gender of the person anonymous for reasons that I really don't know other than I just didn't want to be gender specific.

I do not condone suicide, if anything, if you are feeling like that is an option it isn't. Suicide only takes away from what can be and if you really do feel like its the only option please get help and see a professional 

Anyways I hope you guys liked the "book" There probably wont ever be an update to this, this was just a little story that I wanted to write Thanks again for reading. 

Parker))