When I Close My Eyes

Prologue

Celeste opened her eyes. It was yet another day, same routines. Nothing has changed. Life is bland and uninteresting. She got out of bed and dragged her feet to the sink. Running water from the faucet, quite resembled the tears she wept every night before she closes her eyes. She splashed ice cold water on her face. She glanced up at the mirror. Pale face and unkempt hair. Sleep-deprived tired eyes staring back at her. She was tired. It's the kind of tired that sleep can't fix. She has lost her will to live. She doesn't know what it is, but she feels as though there's a huge hole in her heart. She felt empty. She needed something to fill it in, although she doesn't even know what she's missing.

After she changed into droopy uniform, she stumbled into the living room. Her family looked tired too. Mother was already doing the house chores. She scrubbed the floor motionlessly. Father was rehearsing for a big presentation. He didn't look too happy. He was frustrated and agitated, which was normal for anyone before having to speak in front of a big crowd. But he was too hard on himself because he started slamming the table and yelling about how much he hates his job. He almost flipped the computer and Celeste had to stop him from his deepseated rage boiling inside of him. Celeste sighed and grabbed a plain piece of bread and bit it between her teeth and muttered, "I'm going to school, goodbye." She slouched her bag onto her shoulder. It felt heavy, just like her heart. She slipped on her dirty school shoes, fumbled with her shoelaces, and slammed the door shut.

She plugged in her earpiece and played sad songs. She was sullenly trudging along as she looked to the ground. Fallen, dead leaves, dry and wrinkled were scattered across the pathway. It's almost like her, dead inside. She did not care to look up at the morning skies. She did not care to bask in the morning sun. The melodious melody of birds chirping did not match the melancholic tunes she was blasting in her ears.

School. The most torturing place to be at. It was lonely. Everyone in school sees her as the weird, emo kid who sits at a corner away from everyone. Nobody dared to speak to her. Nobody dared to sit close to her. They think she's secretly a psychopathic murderer whenever she makes eye contact. Her only friend was this other girl, who is equally as quiet and shut-off from everyone else. They share their moments together in silence. The rest of the room was the opposite from them. The room was filled with animated chatters and uncontrollable laughter. They seemed happy and carefree, like nothing could bring them down. And soon, classes started. Everyone started whining and complaining as they headed to class.

"Okay, class, please settle down. I'm going to return your examination scripts. You may compare scores, but please refrain from making too much noise." Mrs Patterson announced. Everyone in class started jittering in excitement and were anticipating how well they did. The usual top scorers were beamed in pride as their names were called out and praised, as the rest of the class applauded. Name after name, the scripts were returned. And then it was left with Celeste. "Celeste, I need you to see me after class," she demanded. Then she continued, "You are, as usual, a huge disappointment. You pulled the overall mean grade down." Celeste glared back at her teacher. Even the teacher kind of startled backwards.

Boring lectures proceeded on and on as they went in and out of Celeste's ear. She could care less about what the lectures were on about. The long hours dragged on and finally school was over. She couldn't care less to see Mrs Patterson, and went straight home.

After a long cold shower and silent dinner with her family of three, she collapsed into her bed. She didn't bother to open up her textbooks and do her homework.

Endless thoughts started spiralling in her head. Overthinking led to tears welling up her eyes and trickling slowly down her face. She was afraid of her own mind. She pleaded under her breath, "Please, no nightmares tonight." She wrapped herself in the duvet covers, as she closed her eyes.

And then she met him.