'Life should go jump off a Parachute'

Short, Little and Fun Experiences

(this is the most emotional chapter i've ever written so far in this book wow)

Y'all I forgot to tell you guys the results of that Climate Change Journalism Competition that i entered in february.

Results came in on March 15 and

well

UUUUUUUUUUGGHH

I 👏 DID 👏NOT 👏WIN 👏

I DIDNT GET IN FIRST SECOND OR THIRD PLACE AND I DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT RANK IM IN, I DONT EVEN WANT TO KNOW.

I checked the Columban Competitions website and my name nor my school nor Guildford weren't in the list of the British Region Winners for the Print part.

So with that, I'd say props to Anna Joy Marshall for achieving first place with her "Facing up to Climate Change' article. So congrats to her for getting that £300. And yeah congrats to the second and third winners too.
The worst part is that you can't even have access to READ their entries, they just show the names, school, towns and their titles and that's it! stands on top of nearby chair and raises megaphone I WOULD LIKE TO READ THEIR ENTRIES PLEASE SO I CAN LEARN FROM WHAT THEY WRITE, THEREFORE I CAN BE MINDFUL OF WHAT TO INCLUDE THE NEXT TIME I TRY OUT YOUR JOURNALISM FRIGGIN COMPETITON BECAUSE I KNOW YOU DO THEM ANNUALLY. LIKE YALL WHATRE WE GONNA DO? ARE YOU AFRAID WE'LL PLAGIARISE THEIR ENTRIES? FOR WHAT REASON?? I JUST WANT TO READ THEM AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAQ

But, hey, I'm clearly not distressed over it entirely. In all seriousness I expected myself not to get anything from it giving me low expectations the whole way. And yeah that did end up being true.

The thing is, even if i got £300 or not, what i feel afterwards would slightly stay the usual way.

~•~
Upon finding out that i didn't win, i indeed felt rather a bit discouraged. I sure felt passionate when writing that entry as i had a lot of views and opinions that relate to climate change, yet i couldn't fit all of them into my entry due to the 1000 word limit.

I looked back at my entry and saw it in a different view than before. the quality didn't feel detailed or well-explained and the way it was structured,
it looked like a bunch of paragraphs that don't exactly connect with each other. it was like trying to push a heart shaped block into a star shaped hole. it's not designed to go through.
but afterwards i just forgot about it, left it behind and kept doing what i usually do in my life in relation to the writing world- just keep reading and write when i feel like it.

and i thought that i would be a lot more happier if i won. i would feel a lot more confident about my writing and use my level and quality to even continue my wattpad stories, bEcAuSe i KnOw My WriTinG iS tHe BeSt.

then i ended up imagining an alternative universe where i did win. what would i really feel? what would i really do?

and upon giving it some thought, i'm pretty sure i would go back to what i do aswell - read and write when i feel like it. except the fact that i won is just thrown to the back of my head. (this gave me an image of a fancy trophy appearing in my head, then my brain grabs it and just throws it in a room where it puts my achievements, the clunking sound of metal hitting the floor. then brain locks the room up and goes back to doing the average. brain smiles, for a while only before going back to a poker face) (yeah that actually described my situation the best)

~•~
Did that thing make sense.
Idk, I ask this question a lot when writing and I just want to make sure.

Okay, and I even said in the chapter where I put my entry that I don't even care whether or not I win and that I'm doing it to see where I can go with my writing, but this entire thing still hurt me. Ugh minus one confidence point.

What is there to come out of my salty venting and sorrow?

Well, just think that whenever you feel like you lost a chance to achieve something, like maybe failing to plant a flower, not liking your artwork, not being able to play a piece on an instrument, not writing to what you expected, disliking the pictures you take, finding it hard to sing, not making the sports team.

but first, let's all raise a glass to mediocre talents - we're all amateurs! 🥂

Just remember that, you have nothing to lose and a lot to experience.

Short, Little and Fun Experiences.

The thing you like and want to do better in, use the time and effort you have to PRACTISE.
And if you hate to be told to practise, practising helps you to IMPROVE and it's the fastest way to help you get to the level you want to with your personal skills!

I felt sad, but weeks after I got the results, I have come to the point where I feel confident and happy to go and improve my writing, which is why I'm writing these chapters to you guys, and aiming to update the book ever so often.

And what my venting part up there is trying to tell you is that, when you reach the level you want to achieve, you will still do the same usual things as you did before except you're a lot 'stronger' than you were, and with that, you will be satisfied.

well i don't know. that applies to me but i'm not sure if it could be the same for you guys. i just put a lot of thought into it.

Always go for these Short and Little and Fun Experiences that help to boost points in your personal skills.
I had fun doing that competition.
It wasn't a majorly big part of my life as it was only a little thing.
And it was short. It's not like it's insuperable or anything.

So, yeah. Read about me exposing myself, in a way I guess.
realises im still standing on a chair and gets down, everyone around me making that unsettled tom face

I would like to say props again to those winners of the competition, to the tops three writers and video-makers in Britain and Ireland. Im sure i'm not the only one envious for you guys.
But one day I will at least get into the top three. Im Hopeful. I'm excited to know what the topic for next year is.

and guys, just to give a heads up, the next chapter will be a bit, unnerving i should say, as i will talk about something disturbing on youtube, yet sad