Unprivileged

Chapter 10.

Ace's POV.

Mornings are bad when you are like me.

Exhaustion, blur and irritation. Feelings of severe discomfort and inconvenience welcome you back to your miserable life the second you open your tired eyes and breathe morning air into your fatigued lungs. Those terribly confusing ten minutes of panic and anxiety when you are still not conscious and trying to remember what century it is you are currently living and whether you did that really important homework you were assigned yesterday or not. Those moments of feeling weak, almost every muscle in your body aching. You wish you could go back to sleep, but you know you can't. And even if you could, your tiredness is not one that can be cured with sleep and rest. It's chronic. Always there. Always present in your being. You are a worn out machine that is aged and rusting and no matter how hard you try, in your morning shower, you can't scrub off the painful face you are wearing today and then you realize that sadly feelings are waterproof and hard to come off with any kind of soap. The brain doesn't work, either. It is bombarded with thoughts and memories and worry and only decides to make you cringe at your stupid decisions and want to end your existence when you are sitting down with your lovely family trying to have a peaceful breakfast.

Maybe today is just not your day. As for me, this is exactly how it is like everyday.

Also, it happens to be my birthday.

As I sat and pretended to enjoy my plate of eggs and bacon, my parents eye-talked about me, thinking I did not notice. Once I'm full and ready to go, mum tells me to sit back down for a minute. 

"Why?" I know where this is going. I'm really not in the mood to discuss the symptoms of depression and how much almost all of them apply to me. "I really should go. I'm late for school."

Without answering, she puts in front of me two packages and an envelope. In order from down to top, the first and biggest pack has "Dad" written in it, the second and smaller pack is labeled with "Mum", and the envelope is marked with "Rich". 

"Are those my birthday presents?" I ask, clumsily.

"Yes." Says my mum. "Open them now, if you like."

I tear the wrapping paper off of the big present first. It's a book.

Written in big silver letters right at the middle of a completely black hardcover is the title: 

Static. 

"It's an alien novel," says dad, "I figured it's been a long time since you have read a sci-fi kind of book, so I thought that one was a good idea." He paused as I read the blurb.

"Dad," I cracked up, "It's about zombies, not aliens."

"Wait..Isn't that the same thing?" asks he, confusedly. 

"No, it isn't," I explain, "Aliens are supposedly creatures living out in spaceships and other planets while zombies are the living dead humans waiting to rise in an apocalypse to eat our brains and devour our raw organs."

"Oh, right!"

"Well, both of those have green skin." Man, aren't I so funny?

He laughs.

"Thanks, dad." I smile.

Then I move on to the second present. The one from my mum. I wildly tear the wrapping paper off of it and again, it's a book, but a much smaller one. Written in funky letters with so many different colors right at the center of a really colorful and sparkly paperback is the title:

The Guide to a Better and More Positive Life.

I look up from the book to see a quirky smile on her face. 

"It's a self help book." she says, confidently.

"It is.." I think it's time I clarify the fact that I'm not depressed.

"Well mum I-" 

Before I could finish my sentence she interrupts me and holds the "Rich" envelope that I forgot about up to my face. "You forgot about Rich's present."

I smile and take it from her hand. The envelope has inside of it a bookmark. But not just any basic bookmark. It's a freaking Spiderman bookmark!

"This is the best birthday gift ever. Thanks bud." I stroke his messy hair. He returns my act of kindness in a language I do not speak and a toothless smile.

Thereafter, I awkwardly dismiss myself to go to school and run out of the door as fast as I can, because 1. I'm running late and 2. I don't know how to "thank'' my parents for the books and the cool bookmark so I just need to get the hell out before I lose my shit.

Trying to climb on my bike, I realize that my day did start in absolute torment, but somehow it shifted and it is actually not so bad by far. Unless the powers of nature and Karma decide otherwise, I think I will survive another day.

When I arrive to school, I park and start slow walking in the halls, trying to kill the few minutes left before class starts. I spot Carrie passing by.

"Hello!" greets she, cheerfully.

"Hey." I smile at her. Memories of last night's 3 am conversation flood through my mind, thus making me cringe and wish I waited for the day to come. I'm such an embarrasement, I should not be allowed to have friends.

"How would you like to meet my friends?"

"Your..friends?"

"Yes. I have a fair few good ol' friends and I would like you to meet them."

"I..don't know..about that.."

"Oh, there they come." she waves and smiles such a bright smile. I turn around to see a clique of five teenagers coming towards us.

"They are all really nice and friendly. We have some great times together and I thought you would like.."

Instantly, I panic.

"No, nonononononononono, Carrie, I need to go. Now."

"What's wrong?"

"I have to go."

"But..Ace.."

I run away and leave her behind. Her mouth agape and eyes wide open. Absolutely shell shocked.

(Hey guys. How are you all doing? Long time since I update the book and my 'author's notes' but I do have my reasons. School is about to start and I've been trying to register and get myself on the go and figure things out so pardon me. I also haven't been in such a happy place lately. I have hovered over the 'delete' button so many times..but anyway, I hope you like where my book is going, and I hope you will stick around until the end. Great love and admiration. Meriem. xxo)