Hopelessly hopeful

chapter 2

I woke up to a pounding headache " fuck this hangover" I thought to myself, I got out of my bunk I have no fucking idea how I got there, all I know is I need a painkiller and a fuck ton of coffee. I know into the kitchen to put the kettle on and see sam is on the toilet floor, I give him a little kick he grunts "yup his alive" I thought to myself cams on the dining room table, how the fuck this tall prick fits on It i'll never know. I put some coffee and sugar in a mug and get the milk out of the fridge at this moment I'm thankful management did all the shopping for us , as I'm pouring the kettle water into the mug I hear "oi dickhead make me one" from James I quickly make him a coffee and hand him it, "how the fuck does cam even fit on that table?' James asked. " fuck knows mate" I say sipping some of my coffee, " ugh what happened last night" Cameron said getting up from the table the falls off as he wasn't expecting to be on the table " fuck" he complained me and James laugh to the point we are crying, " what's so funny" sam asked walking into the living area." oh just heather-lump falling off the table" James answers " fuck you" cam said dusting himself down "ughhhhhhh I'm never drinking again" we hear Danny winced and held his head " morning baby" I say to him " morning beautiful" he winks back. " where the hell are we and what is the Time" cam asked " don't know mate ask Pepe" sam said. Cameron, James and sam walk off the see Pepe I sit on the sofa then see my phone on the one of the small wooden cabinets, I pick it up and look at the time it says its 2pm but at that moment I saw my lock screen for the very first time since the divorce, it was a photo of me and Ciara on our wedding day she looked so beautiful, her blonde hair was in a magical bun with all flower clips holding it together, her slim white dress fitting her figure perfectly, her make up was non existent she had some on but it was so natural as well she truly looked amazing. The way she was looking as me in the photo, it was full of love, why did I fuck it up? why did I have to cheat on the most beautiful, kind heart women iv ever meet, why did I cheat on the women who stood by me through my drug and alcohol problems? I felt tears streaming down my face, I felt angry at myself Danny must of notice because he come over and just hugged me, letting my cry in his shoulders, " why did I do it Danny?" I asked him though sobs, " I don't know mate, only you can give yourself that answer". he told me honestly moments later i'm still hugging Danny and crying. "why is this pussy crying, what can't handle the drink anymore?" sam said and James and Cameron laughed " Ben and Ciara got a divorce yesterday, and that's why Ben was late" Danny explain to the rest of the boys as he knew I was too upset to do it myself, "oh shit I'm sooo sorry Ben if I knew I wouldn't of took the piss out of you crying" sam said. Cameron and James just sat there awkwardly as they've never seem me like this before, sam just gave me a hug. Moments later I stop crying and ask " so where the fuck are we?" we have just got into Germany, we should be in Hamburg within the hour so Pepe says" James answered, " right that's enough time for me to man up and get ready" I says getting off the sofa and walking to the shower, after about twenty minutes I'm all showered I go to my bunk to get dressed, I deiced to wear black ripped jeans that show my WTF and smily face tattoo on my knee, a short sleeve white top that show off my sleeve tattoos the top has holes in it intentionally of course around the neck and here and there and my black and white converse, I brush my brown over the ear length hair through and now I'm ready to face the public and my adoring fans. I walk out of my bunk and I hear Danny say " we just need to watch him, keep an eye on him much sure we don't have an 2014 ben on our hands" which pissed me off we was all on drugs and alcohol, I wasn't the only one, before anyone else could say anything, I walk in " I don't need fucking looking after okay" they all just shook their heads, "so does anyone actually know who's touring with us" Cameron asked to change the subject, " I heard it was bring the horizon" sam said " I heard it was go mice and man" James said "I heard it was slipknot" Danny said " either way this tour is going to be fucking mental" I say. " I wish tash would tell us who we are touring with" Cameron said " what a shit manager we have" James laughed. about an hour later we arrived at the venue we are playing at, we get off the bus and go straight in before anyone see us there was all the equipment we needed all ready for us to do sound checks. about half way the door opens and about seven people walk through the door, I look up as I was looking down at the string on my guitar and the first person I saw was mr oli Sykes, then matt, lee walked in after and then the other matt and Jordan walk in together, "ahh shit look who it is, bring me the horizon the tour is going to be insane" I thought to myself.. "aye up lads look who it is asking fucking Alexandria, the best British rock band, other then us of course" oli said we all jump off stage and exchange greetings. About an hour later it was our turn to go on stage, as we are setting up, Danny warming up his vocal chords me, sam and cam are making sure our guitars are in tune and James just stands there watching us, all I can hear are the fans screaming chanting for us " AFUCKINGA AFUCKINGA AFUCKINGA" it always melts me when I hear that, our intro comes on so the crowd goes wild, James walks on first then sam, then cam, then me and then Danny starting screaming TAKE HIM OUT BACK" we play put new song into the fire and everyone loves it. about an hour later its out final song, " ladies and gentlemen, this is our final song, so I want us to do what ever the fuck we want, ladies and gentlemen this is not the American average" the crowd goes nuts " 1,2,3,4, come on baby keep it down, hunny hush your lips" Danny sung. moment later it was my turn to sing, " oh Hamberg  " I call the crowd goes insane, you guys know how to fucking sing am I right?" I ask them they all cheer "yessss" " all right" I laugh " and now stop too late, and I never told you, that I can't take another disappointment" I sung but wanted the crowd to be loud as fuck so I screamed " LOUDERRRR" down the mic, "breathing and grasping all leads to a messy ending" I sung more as the crowd got louder, "breathing and grasping all leads to a messy ending" I sung my final bit and then it was time for the mosh pit to happen so I jumped down from the stage and stood up on the mental gates they have, and got in with the crowd, everyone was trying to get to me I thought someone was going to get hurt it was truly madness so I got down and started smashing up my guitar as Danny was screaming the last bit and the crowd loved it. we all thank the crowd for coming and walked off stage, "you guys fucking killed it" one go the matts said " cheers bro" I thanks him, " party time" James smirked and with that we heard to the bar.