Our Surprises.

8. Head Above Water

The guard by the door was staring at his phone which I'm sure wasn't allowed. Maybe if I could get my hands in the front of me I could, no, no, I did this to myself I got to go see it through. I can't escape, I've caused them enough pain. I can't escaped and cause them more pain, no they had enough of this. 

We were stopping, I looked out the window and saw the jail. Big and grey. I take a deep breathe, I'm going to be fine. I deserve this. This is were I belong. 

XxX 

Intake was difficult, uncomfortable and slightly embarrassing. I got through it got my tag and a bag of stuff, which I am assuming is just extra clothes and blankets. A guard is escorting me and three others to our 'rooms'.  

When I get to mine it takes everything in not to scream and cry into my 'bed'. It was tiny and my bunk mate was a white heavy-ish woman. She had the same navy blue outfit on that I did, except I had on a white long sleeve underneath my navy top. Her tag read Maxwell, R. She eyed the guard before looking at me.

She stood and went into a rant about how to make the beds, not to make a mess. I just nodded along, I wanted to do what was right. If that meant listening to a middle-aged woman tell me how to make a bed, when I've already had one stay at this same damn jail, so be it. 

"You understand me? No mess. Not your maid, I didn't even clean up after my own kids definitely not cleaning up after you." She was loud and spoke clear she made sure to enunciate each word. Pretty sure she just spit in my face.  I nodded. 

I turned around and made my bed the way she said too, the way I was show by the first lady I was paired with then climbed up and rolled over and faced the wall. 

Do my time not make a fuss. 

XxX 

I laid there for maybe three hours, when the alarm went off. I automatically sat up, put my shoes on and stood by the door. Maxwell gave me a funny look. I haven't said a word to her at all. 

The guard came around, counted and continued. We stayed until the alarm went off and after, I went to go back to bed. "You done this before?" Maxwell asked, still loud as ever. 

"Four years. So I know how to make a bed." I climbed back up, facing the wall again.

"What were you in for then?" She asked again, still loud and annoying. 

"What are you in for?" I shot back. I just want to sleep. 

"I used to rob banks. I was pretty good at it too. Now you?" 

"Stalking, kidnapping, attempt. Please leave me alone." I put my head down and pull my legs to my chest. I just want to sleep. 

XxX 

I woke up the next morning, having missed dinner and breakfast. I was okay with that. As long as I got to sleep. 

XxX 

When I could eventually bring myself to get of bed and go outside with everyone else, I stood there. I just looked at the sky. I pulled my sleeves down and crossed my arms. The sun felt good against my face. It was the only warm thing on this chilly morning, so I decided to stay for a little bit and enjoy it. 

The other ladies were off in there own groups, some just standing talking, other actually playing some kind of outdoor activity. It was loud, but the sun was warm so it was okay. 

XxX 

I still think about Liam. 

And Kairi. 

And Zayn. 

I want to see them. I want to know they're okay.  That's never going to happen though, court order that I leave them be and not mess with them.  I wouldn't be able to get them added to me call list let alone my visitation list. 

I wonder if Kairi still has the issue with his r's and t's. Its been a while, he probably got them down. Did Zayn's belly get any bigger? How are the girls growing? 

My girls... No stop El, you gotta stop. Do your time and get out, leave them alone. "I have to." I spoke to myself quietly. 

At this point I have to try my hardest to just keep my head above water.

XxX

So happy new year!! I knownits been a hot minute....buuut I'm back!! Im going to be trying my hardest to get back into writing! Bc I miss this.

So i know this is short but i wanted to get something up and I have been promising a chapter in Ellie's pov so here it is. At this point in her life you can see her struggling to feel something or engage with others. She's going through something and I'm trying to make it subtle..

Anyway,

Kisses,
T.c.