Hope In The Box

Chapter 1

Breathe. Just Breathe. He's not coming today. My Shadow won't come because today is going to be a good day. Or will it? Will it be a good day? I mean, I have a test today, which I did not study for, a doctor's appointment, and on top of it all, I'm grounded. I hate being grounded, especially when it's for a stupid reason like this. I cut myself yesterday. I can't help it, my Shadow makes me.

I call it my Shadow because it looks just like me, messy black hair, round eyes, and scars on the left wrist. It looks like me in every way except for the fact that it doesn't have color. It's entirely black and white, with a bit of red coming from its pupils. He's always there, sometimes small, and doesn't have much of an effect, other times he's stronger.I'm scared of him, terrified even. He makes me feel depressed and numb. Emotionally numb, like I can't even feel sad, or happy, or angry, I become dead inside. I don't fully understand where it came from, but it's with me anyways. I have to live with it. Although to me, the alternative isn't the worst option, death. My death is what the Shadow wants, and to be honest if it ends my pain, I'm okay with it.

I get up and walk out of my room and down the hall to where my parents are eating breakfast. They don't know anything about my Shadow, they wouldn't understand. You have to have a Shadow of your own to understand. It's hard to explain why but it's true, you just can't imagine how I or someone else feels.

"Did you hear that, sweetie?" My mom said.

I replied, a bit confused "What?"

" Are you going out after school today?" My dad snapped.

"Oh, yeah I am" I softly spoked, " A couple friends and I are going to movies then Leaves."

Crazy Leaves is a fast food restaurant. It's one of the places that actually makes me happy. I'm close with the owner, Don Leaf, so he lets my friends and I stay past closing usually. Also, Don is the only adult that I know has a Shadow. Some of my friends do too, but I rarely see any people above the age of 25 with a Shadow. Don is 55, and an ex-policeman. He once explained to me how he had a Demon follow him everywhere he went. He said it started when he saw his partner die right in front of him. Still, I find it weird how he has a Shadow though, he has so much to live for, a restaurant, a husband, even a daughter who's in college. I guess no one ever really knows a person, I mean, many people are surprised when they hear I have a Shadow.

I grab the scrambled eggs and juice on the counter and sit down. I eat slowly and only gobble down half of the food before I have to go get ready for school. I walk down the stairs and feel the fuzzy carpet on my bare feet. I go back to my room and grab my socks. I also grab my backpack and walk to the door and wait.

My dad walks in and groans, "You ready, Tenebris?"

"Yeah, I am, " I said in a monotone. I hate when he calls me by my full name, Tenebris, I usually have everyone call me by "Bris". Tenebris means dark in Latin, my parents discovered they were part Italian when they had me so they decided to name something in Latin. They didn't know what Tenebris meant at that time. Now I have to live with it.

"Good. I'll go warm up the car," said my dad, interrupting my train of thought. He walks outside closing the door behind him. I decide to take out my phone and text my friend, Zander, he rarely responds right away. He's usually too busy doing something stupid, like vaping. I swear he's going to die by his own idiocy. Still, he's a good friend, one I respect and plan on keeping.

My dad walks in, he almost always seems grumpy about something. He walks past me and sits on the sofa. I sit down next to him. I want to say something to him, but I don't know what. I want to tell how I feel, how it feels like the world is against me, and my life is worthless, but I know he wouldn't understand. So we sit in silence, waiting for the car to get warm.

Finally, I said, "Dad?"

"Yeah?" He said in a surprised tone.

-I was wondering, could you not call me by full name?

-What do you mean?

-I mean, instead of calling me Tenebris can you just call me Bris?

He paused for a second, looking at me those grey-green eyes, just like mine. Then he said in a low voice, "If you're sure you want me to."

I nodded. Then he gave me hug, got up and gestured to walk out the door with him. I did, we walked to the car and got in. I thought it was strange how he reacted to this, it was a simple request after all. But I guess he named me Tenebris for a reason, so maybe he's just disappointed.

We begin to drive down the road. I looked outside and saw young kids walking to school with their parents. They seem so happy like they haven't been brought down by the hard truth about life. They don't know about all the hate, the fear, the pain, to them life is a paradise. I sometimes wish I could go back to those days. But I can't, no one can, at least not right now. We continue to pass the houses and kids and as we get closer to my school we start to see fewer parents and more groups of friends who walk to the high school together.

Then we get to the driveway parking lot of the school, Driftwood High School. The school is brown and grey, with wood like patterns around the front door. I get out of the car, say goodbye to my dad and walk down the archway to the metal doors. I open them, it's funny to think about the physical appearances between a prison and a school. They both have metal doors, and this school has a lot of grey in it.

I continue down the hallway until I arrive at my locker. I open it and put my backpack in it. Zander comes up to me. The red-headed, skinny boy, who I've known for about 3 years now, stood before me with a black eye. He seems high. I can't imagine what kind of trouble he's gotten himself into now. He got suspended from the football team for about a week because he jumped a kid on the competing school's team.

I sighed and said, "what happened this time?"

"I was vaping near the mailboxes and these guys came and beat me up," Zander was trembling now.

"Why did they do it?" I shakingly said.

"I think they heard the rumor that I was gay." He said with his right fist raised to his nose.

He looked terrible, but at the same, he's been through worse. He was the classic punk, like something out of a movie. He had purple hair, a leather jacket with a white shirt with black stripes. It's weird to think five years he was an innocent little kid, and now he's gone to the dark side.

"Yeah, that rumor sure is getting around," I chuckled.

Zander gave me a dark look, "I wish it would pass already."

" Hey, a couple of people and I are going to the movies then Leaves afterward, you should come," I insisted.

Zander reluctantly replied, "Fine."

I nodded. Zander isn't the social type, especially when he's just been beaten. We start to slowly walk down the hallway, we like to make it to class right before the bell rings, it's a kind of a game we like to play. Zander looks at me with that look in his eye, the look of a comment I won't like, but he will.

Zander then chortled, " Will Amare be there?"

I start to walk faster away from him.

He continued, "Oh so she will. Ooh, Bris and Amare's first date."

Amare is a tall, brunette girl, and is my current crush. She is pretty, smart, and absolutely hilarious. We have a lot in common too, like how both our names are in Latin; Amare means love. She also has a Shadow, and I hope she gets better soon. We also like the same bands. We're not into rap like Drake or pop music like Ariana Grande, we like rock or alternative, or the more common name, emo. We enjoy bands like My Chemical Romance and Panic! At The Disco. She's amazing, but I'm too afraid to ask her out.

Zander, being my best friend, always jumps at the chance to tease me about it. It's annoying, but I have to admit it does make me laugh. He's done it with all my crushes. Of course, he's never gotten the chance to make fun of my girlfriend because I've never had one. Everyone I ask rejects me, and none have liked me back, well, not yet at least.