The Secret Affair (Kellin Quinn/Sleeping With Sirens)

Chapter 14 - Seal My Wounds, Be My Therapy

"And then............I left her. I fell down. Katy was left to............She was left to die. I heard them say she just wanted me. Her death came the minute they made it to the hospital. Eyes open. Begging for me." She let sobs out now and I briskly moved to her side, envoloping her into a huge embrace.

"But what hurt the most.........." She whispered in a pained voice.

"Did you think I hated you? Regretted our relationship?" The question was abrupt but I only nodded. I had thought Brooke hated me. Despised me. And I'd never see her again.

"My last thought................." You could hear her choking up with emotion. Her final thought...............Before she was drowned in the abyss of darkness...............before her life crashed down before her.

"I wanted to give in. To just die. But my last thought...............No matter how much I told myself I didn't care about us anymore, I found myself think this. And didn't care. It felt good to admit............." There was a pause to absorb this. She had wanted to hate me, hate herself. But couldn't.

"What was the thought, sweetie?" I mumbled into her soft, jet black hair.

"But it was for Katy........for Kellin," She breathed out, "That was the final thought."

And that sentence ran through my head. Over and over.

But it was for Katy........for Kellin.

It was for Katy. For her to live. But then it became for me. And she wanted to give in, but her little voice told her to survive.................for me.

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Brooke's P.O.V

This whole time, only when memory replayed. I bit back but it flashed as we sat in silence...

Pain. You'd think I'd have it. But how? How could I when I had experienced so much in life. All I remember was Katy's pleads for me to wake up. Then sirens. Oh, those sirens. It was funny, Sleeping With Siren's consumed my life, while right at that moment, I was sleeping with sirens. Now I wasn't, I heard a faint beeping, the rush on voices and hushed inter-comes. I distinct feelings that were left in the numbness. Cool sheets sweeping over my body, metallic tools dissecting me. But of course, those abilities left me all to quickly. Only my thoughts were left to me, and they were surrounded with darkness. With Kellin, with Katy, with Harmony.

Remembering that, how empty I felt, how numb. It was strange.

"You okay?" Kellin checked. I simply nodded, lost for words.

"I.......I never knew what happened. I was only told you and this younger girl, y-you guys survived. They didn't tell me how it went down, where it went down, how many people were hurt. If you knew or were close to anyone. I wish I did, I would have done everything  to........to be your therapy," He finished. Come to think of it, Kellin was my therapy. He stitched up any wounds and washed away my pains. He was therapy. He was my therapy. And it felt so good to know he was only mine.

"I guess you can say..............All I can remember..........my life, it flashed before my eyes. That's all that stands out. Us, our memories, our love story. I relived it all." I stretched out the word all, because I did. I went through the heartbreak, the love, the confusion.

"I couldn't imagine going through everything over again. Your whole life? I.....I can't come to think of my reaction. Did you even know your......heart i-it stopped?" Kellin stuttered from the overwhelming pain we both felt.

Yes, I did Kellin. I watched you mourn over me. I watched everyone suffered as I only thought the selfish thoughts. The ones about dying, getting it over with. Dying.............

"Yes. I........For some reason, I could tell I was dying. And I counted my heartbeats...............and they stopped. It was the strangest feeling.......not breathing........hearing and feeling people tugging and clawing at you to come back to life......." A few shaky breaths, blissful tears, and loving hugs later, I got the nerve to look Kellin in his eyes.

"What did you think? Feel? What went through your head.............when...........I was dying..." I whispered softly. Kellin was frozen for a second.

"I...........I didn't understand. I felt all happpiness leave, like it only followed you. It was something I never thought would happen, something I never wanted to plan on happening. Just..........everything. Our relationship and my life. IIt all played back in my head. Like you described your expirience." This was something I never expected. He felt the same way I did, reliving out past. Yeah, this was a lot to take in. But it became easier the more I thought about it. My reaction would be the same if Kellin had died.............

"We seem to stutter a lot," Well, way to go to break a moment. Kellin just chuckled at my awkwardness.

"It's a hard topic to discuss, especially being so personal..." With that, silence followed. Not an awkward one, like you would expect, but a comfortable one. 

"Shouldn't we get back to our bands? You know, so they won't worry?" Kellin inquired. Again, I gave a curt nod and stood up with him.

"Kellin?" I asked out of the blue.

"Yes?" He turned a few degrees to face me.

"Thank you. For talking to me, for letting me get that off my chest. It feels like therapy...........like you are my therapy. It helped, I don't feel so......" I was lost for words once more.

"Lost? Destroyed? Lonely?" He put out a few words. I took a sharp breath in. He got those words perfectly, but I knew something else.

"I don't feel so stripped. So torn. I feel like you put me back together. Like you fixed something that was broken," The rough explanation caughts us both off guard. But we merely smiled and got off of the bus, wondering off to our bands. And only one thought was left to be caught.

Had I just opened up to Kellin, even more than before? Did I give him more power to absolutely tear me down as he builds me up?

EHLLO!!!! I know, short :( BUT THE LAST ONE WAS FRIGGIN LONG. LONGER THAN THE FIRST CHAPTER. Be like, epically proud :'] Yeah, I hope you liked it! I was sick today and wrote like no other :c I wish I went to school <'3 Yes, only kid who hates staying home. Am I weird? Eh, guess so. I guess I feel more.........interacted with at school xD BUT NO MORE RAMBLING.  I FOUND OUT HOW MANY CHAPTERS I MAY HAVE!! :D And this chapter is dedicated to alt3rnativ3rocklov3r because they know the ending sorta, so I musht HIDE IT! :o They black mailed me, I swear. NOW ENJOY AND VOTE AND COMMENT. Please? I write faster with encouragement from comments xD Until next time my snowflake Cupcakeys. :3

Playlist:

Safetysuit - Gone Away (In side bar....yes, only song. F U. THAT WHY)