Wendy

i was born on a tuesday.

cheryl rubin

age: 16

1998

"..by the end of next week, Sedrick and I would move out going to california,  our trusted science teacher told both of us that there are more opportunities in california and more decent houses to actually live in. And no, both of us did not finish our high school education because of my early pregnancy. Yes, Sedrick drinks more than he should, but who would care anyways? as long as he gives me happiness that's all what matters. And how we'd take care of the child. we were thinking of putting her in a local orphanage nearby our dormitory, but since all my dorm friends would know that I will give my daughter to the orphanage, they'd certainly laugh me out. Please do not worry about me, Sedrick can handle me better than you do. I won't come back home anytime soon. Make sure Patricia and Dinah would not end up like me.

- Cheryl"

I clasp the envelop between my clammy hands as I walk to the mail box. It was the first letter I ever gave her. I was anxious of the linear mistakes I may have gotten on the paper. Are the spellings correct? Does the punctuations look presentable? Are my indentions correct? Maybe the date should be spelt backwards? Should it?

She would mind making me feel guilty over the small mistakes I have written on the paper, since she always nit picks all the mistakes I have in my life.

Momma wrote her letter two days before I replied back, I could tell she was furious and utterly worried with the child - not with me. Clumsy cursive handwriting all across the rectangular paper and a heart drawn next to the words "I love you and take care"

What happened? tell me

that was the last words of her letter she gave to me two days before.

I wonder how different it could actually be when she recieves the new letter I sent. I never sent letters more than 100 words, maybe she'd think that I was sending a meaningful message where she'd need two toilet paper rolls to keep her eyes dry. Maybe she will need two paper rolls to keep her eyes dry, from crippling disappointment.

All she knew was that I have a twenty-three year old boyfriend who sells hotdogs in Georgetown, Texas.

Sedrick Edler

Momma hated him more than she hated milk. She's lactose intolerant.

I remember one time last September, we were about to buy chili dogs at the sidewalk after buying ingredients for sweet potato casserole. I stop by at the hotdog vendor next to us and ordered. I remember seeing Momma glared at the man's enlarged tattoos imprinted to his arms, four piercings and red mushroom hair. After getting what we ordered, the man exchanged two winks at me and a smile.

We walked away and momma tugged me "Make sure you wouldn't marry a wasted guy like that"

Ever since that day, she never bought hotdogs again.

Momma swore that Sedrick will never be part of the family, our family and I will never be part of a drug addict's life.

Well, look at me.

I shrugged and shoved the paper to the mail, trying to hide my shaky fingers

I walked back to that awful smelled house when I saw Oscar as he passes by. He's Sedrick's best friend. Well, drinking friend would be the right term. He bums a smoke almost every hour in the day to burn down his lungs. His breath is the most awful thing you ever smelled, with twenty-seven tattoos on his body and ten piercings.