Sunflower Feelings - Roger Taylor

𝙨𝙞𝙣𝙘𝙚 𝙞'𝙫𝙚 𝙗𝙚𝙚𝙣 𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙮𝙤𝙪

i wanted to hold him forever. i wanted to feel his heartbeat against my cheeck forever. i loved him so much and i knew this was all i ever wanted. i could cut everyone off, i would die, i would kill, i would throw myself into a fire if it was for him. i really wished that he felt the same way, sometimes i got scared that he didn't, but sometimes it felt like i was his everything, and i really lived for that feeling. though sometimes that feeling felt so far away.

without even noticing, a tear rolled down my cheek. only this made me cry, and i thought i was going crazy. i missed him even if he was right there, i wanted him even when i had him.

"hey hey... what's wrong?" he sat up quickly as he saw my eyes that were getting red and watery. he wiped the tear away with his soft thumb and looked at me straight in the eye with a concerned look.

i couldn't tell if i was sad or happy. i had no idea what to say to him. i wanted to tell him that i loved him so much, but that wasn't enough. was it even possible to love someone this much? my lips curved into a small warm smile, and i saw his concerned and sad look slowly fading away.

"i'm amazing. i love you so much. i want to be with you forever Roger. please don't leave me ever." i whispered.

"aw Jill. you know i will never leave you. i love you." he smiled and pecked my lips. "now, i'm starving. we should go get some breakfast yeah?"

***

Roger's pov.

"do you wanna come down to the pub with me and the lads tonight?" i asked Jill as we were sitting by the table, eating our breakfast eggs.
i really wanted to go so i hoped that she would come too, because if i went alone without her god knows what would happen. i really wanted to be good for her from now on.

"yeah sure. it has been a while since we've gone out together. but not too much drinking, don't forget America tomorrow!" she smiled brightly. i just nodded with a hum.

***

"are you coming?!" i yelled from downstairs. i was sitting in her living room with the television on, watching some dumb soap opera. it was already late and we were supposed to meet the boys in the pub in about five minutes, but Jill took so long to get ready.

"coming!" she yelled back. soon i heard footsteps coming down, closer to the living room. "what do you think?"

she was wearing a short, kind of revealing, glowing dress. her hair was down naturally and barely no makeup on, i fucking loved it. she was so beautiful, i never understood how.

"fucking gorgeous!" i said in awe. she just blushed and laughed sweetly.

"now let's go!" Jill grabbed my hand and pulled me out the door to a cab i had just asked for. i could have taken my car, but i knew i'd probably get just a little tipsy so i decided to just call a cab. i was staying at Jill's the whole weekend, so my car was parked in front of the townhouse she lived in.

it took us about five minutes when we got there, and i already saw Freddie, John, John's girlfriend Veronica, Brian and a blonde short haired woman i did not recognize. we walked in and exhanged 'hello's then Jill and i sat down on the booth.

i looked at the blonde woman sitting next to Freddie, then i turned my gaze to Freddie with a questioning look.

"oh, this is Mary! my beautiful lady. Mary, this is Roger and Jill." Freddie smiled proudly and pointed at us. Mary chuckled and said a little "hi."

she seemed pretty nice. she was beautiful too. Freddie also looked happy, and that's exactly what i wanted for him. he was amazing and deserved the best he could get, Mary seemed like a good one. i hoped it was her.

after a few drinks and about an hour of chatting and getting a little tipsy, Jill spoke up. "i'll get the next round!" she offered and asked what we all wanted, then she walked away heading to the bar, staggering a little. i eyed her up and down a little. she looked so hot in that dress.

a few minutes had went by, but Jill wasn't there with our drinks. the pub was crowded and i got a little worried that maybe she couldn't find us or that someone was maybe too close to her for my liking. i looked around and spotted the dress she was wearing.

she was standing by the bar... laughing... with a man. with a man who looked strangely familiar, but i couldn't tell where i had seen him. the man had his hand on Jill's shoulder, then it moved down to her waist. i could feel myself getting a little angry and jealous. i don't know if it was the alcohol or my strong feelings for her, or if it was those both combined, but i really felt like punching that guy. i wasn't even sure if i knew him, bit did Jill?

i stood up without a word, then i stormed to the bar where Jill was laughing with the touchy guy. the closer i got, the more i wanted to just throw him. as i got close enough, i grabbed Jill's arm roughly and she jumped at the sudden contact. she turned her face around and frowned at me. she tried to yank her arm away but i just held tighter. i was almost sure i was leaving bruises on her.

"what the hell man?" the guy asked, then i noticed. it was Steven. Steven as in the guy who Jill used to date.

"Jill." i just grunted and pulled her away to a corner. i pushed her to the wall and stood in front of him, i was so close that our noses were almost touching. "what the fuck are you doing?" i snapped.

"having fun." she said quietly, trying to avoid eye contact. i grabbed her chin harshly and held it up that she was facing me.

"look at me when i talk to you. why were you letting Steven touch you like that?" i slurred a little. i hated that i got angry so quickly but i couldn't control myself.

she didn't answer.

"you're not some kind of a slut, right?" i whispered into her ear with a low voice. she shivered a little.

"at least you didn't find someone else's bras in my room." she snapped back quietly.

"don't fucking talk to me like that Jill." my grip on her chin tightened a little more, and she moaned at the feeling.

"only i get to touch you like that, right?" i asked again whispering.

she bit her bottom lip and nodded with a hum.

"you're so beautiful and hot like that. i don't want anyone else touching my beautiful girl." i meant it. i hated to see someone else's hands on her body. i hated it. "you have some explaining to do tomorrow alright? kow i just have to teach you how to behave." i whispered.

"Roger.." she whispered breathy. "let's go home."

"mhm.. who do you want?"

"you baby." she whined.

well, it was safe to say that we went home quite fast, and i did take my anger out on her.. if you know what i mean.